Lindsay Lohan To Be Charged With Felony Grand Theft

Illustration for article titled Lindsay Lohan To Be Charged With Felony Grand Theft

Best slap her on the wrist and send her back to rehab. In the meantime, a fun thought exercise because it's Black History Month: what if Lindsay Lohan were Latrell Lohan, 19-year-old black man from Chicago's 20th ward?

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DISCUSSION

First of all, if she were Latrell, she wouldn't be buying the drugs, she would be selling them. Secondly, Latrell wouldn't borrow just one necklace, he would smash and grab all the jewelry in the store and third... there is no third, I think comparing Lohan to a black kid from Chicago's 20th ward is not very creative.

Let's focus on the real problem here. Lindsay Lohan has learned fuck-all from her stints in rehab and jail.