Lindsay Lohan May Now Add ‘Hit and Run Driver’ to her Diverse Résumé

Illustration for article titled Lindsay Lohan May Now Add ‘Hit and Run Driver’ to her Diverse Résumé

It wasn't Lizzie Grubman bad, but it's still an average start to the day when you hit someone with your car outside of a club and immediately flee the scene – which is exactly what Lindsay Lohan did in the wee hours of the morning. Leaving Hollywood's Sayers Club sometime after midnight she got into a paprazzo jam outside the neighboring Hookah Lounge and inadvertently struck the manager with her new Porsche before driving away. Though the cops soon arrived on the scene they're choosing not to follow it up because no one was seriously injured, but will be forced to if the manager makes a formal complaint. The bad news for her is that if a complaint is filed it could violate her probation in the shoplifting case. It's doubly bad news that she didn't actually hit one of the asshole paps who are constantly tailing her ass and the ones directly responsible for such inflated drama. UPDATE: though he initially said he was fine the manager started complaining about being injured once he realized who hit him — his injury being a grazed knee. He's currently being treated for celebrity-related hypochondria in emergency and is hiring an attorney. [TMZ]

Illustration for article titled Lindsay Lohan May Now Add ‘Hit and Run Driver’ to her Diverse Résumé

If it wasn't enough that Kelly Taylor Jennie Garth and Carlisle Cullen Peter Facinelli divorced after 11 years of marriage, people are now saying it's because he had a "torrid affair" – is there any other? – with an unnamed Canadian woman. "Peter had been seeing another woman for quite some time. They tried to make it work for the sake of their children and Jennie played housewife for as long as she could but finally had enough," said a source type. "Jennie knew. As a lot of couples do, they simply grew apart. As the mother of his children, Peter still loves Jennie very much and vice versa." Evidently not enough to refrain from putting his dick in somebody else's person. [Scallywag And Vagabond]
Peter took his wedding ringless finger out for a ride on his motorbike in the wake of their divorce announcement. [TMZ]

Illustration for article titled Lindsay Lohan May Now Add ‘Hit and Run Driver’ to her Diverse Résumé

Fictional new claims suggest that Demi Moore is angling to get back with Ashton Kutcher — because clambouring after the man who cheated on you is the kind of self-esteem building techniques they teach you in rehab, apparently. "Demi definitely isn't over him yet. Her mood right now relies solely on Ashton and how responsive he is to her messages and phone calls," ghost whispers a fake source. "If he doesn't message her back for a couple of hours or seems distant in a text, she starts freaking out. While she won't admit it, she is still completely infatuated with him and it's clear she wants him back." What ever will she (not really) do?! [Daily Mail]

Illustration for article titled Lindsay Lohan May Now Add ‘Hit and Run Driver’ to her Diverse Résumé

Most everyone has a crush on Gillian Anderson so it's kind of her to let us know that almost everyone was in with a chance before she got married and popped out three kids – the actress telling Out that she dated women throughout the years. "I was in a relationship with a girl for a long time when I was in high school," she said, adding that she also enjoyed the company of a "punk rock drug addict" and someone "way, way older." [E!]

Illustration for article titled Lindsay Lohan May Now Add ‘Hit and Run Driver’ to her Diverse Résumé

Elle Macpherson, perpetrator of stereotypes, accused Howard Stern of being "absolutely Jewish" after he fretted that her sons Arpad, 14, and Aurelius, nine, would be left traumatized by the nude photo of herself that she has hanging in her bedroom. "You're being overprotective," she said. "You sound like a nagging mother, 'Eleanor, should you have that picture in your room?' My children are very well-balanced." To which Stern replied: "I once saw my mother come out of the shower, it traumatized me." And though I‘m reluctant to hand this one to her she retorted with a pretty good burn. "I can imagine, if she looks like you," she said. "Sorry, that just slipped out!" [US]

Illustration for article titled Lindsay Lohan May Now Add ‘Hit and Run Driver’ to her Diverse Résumé

I didn't catch this earlier because I'm not a big fan of the Adam Levine oeuvre, but releasing his signature fragrances is a bit of a contradictory move after he slammed celebrity scents via the Twitters last year. "I also would like to put an official ban on celebrity fragrances," he wrote. "Punishable by death from this point forward." And Christina Aguilera can cast the first stone because she was the one who remembered his unofficially official ban. ""Haha @AdamLevine," she wrote. "What a difference a year makes …" Solid. [People]

  • Get ready to hyperventilate: Downton Abbey creator Julian Fellowes is writing a big screen remake of Gypsy. [Hollywood Reporter]
  • If you're not excited by news that Le Tigre have released their live album Le Tigre – Live! you might be a robot. [iTunes]
  • I wouldn't kill my own mother for it but I might trip her over for the chance to listen in on the private dinner Hillary Clinton and Meryl Streep shared at the actress's home. [Page Six]
  • Despite the fact that we now know the movie is a piece of shit, the 14-year-old girl inside us all is breathing a sigh of relief that Leonardo DiCaprio chose to star in Titanic instead of getting his prosthesis on as Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights. [Page Six]
  • Do you think the $3,800 to $65,000 dogs that Miley Cyrus and Rihanna own come from fancy puppy mills? Where dogs are kept in ritzy inhumane conditions? [Page Six]
  • Working under the wild assumption that they're into such things, Adrien Brody is set when it comes to last-minute birthday gifts for the women in his family now he's dating handbag designer Rocio Olbes. [Page Six]
  • It's mildly insulting, but the Post report that Jason Segel is a "dark-horse sex symbol" after he was "swarmed" by women the other night. Whenever I hear that word I immediately think of the climactic scene in My Girl when Macaulay Culkin is overcome by bees. I digress … [Page Six]
  • A bit of a power move, Leighton Meester says she doesn't want to marry some guy she doesn't love. [Page Six]
  • Sofia Vergara says she's going to celebrate turning 40 by freezing her eggs. [NYDN]
  • Somehow I don't think that Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds were "cuddling and kissing the entire flight" from New York to LA. If it is indeed true then they deserve some kind of sickly endurance medal. [NYDN]
  • Lourdes Leon debuts her singing voice in the one-minute sneak-soundpeek of her mom Madonna's new single, "Superstar." [E!]
  • In the latest instalment of Drew Barrymore: Uterus Watch, she indeed seems to be with child because she's been walking around with morning sickness mainstay, Saltines. Though they are deliciously addictive so that could also explain it. [US]
  • Riley Keough, aka Elvis Presley's granddaughter, is giving that whole marriage thing a try with Alex Pettyfer. [US]
  • Women without the time, finances or inclination to get their hair constantly did will no doubt be championing Rihanna's severe root 'do.[US]
  • Weirded out by talk that he's a heartthrob, Liam Hemsworth should have thought about that before signing on for Hunger Games. [US]
  • He also said that his girlfriend Miley Cyrus would totally kick his ass in a real-life battle to the death. [People]
  • Kim Kardashian is the new poster girl for plastic surgery in Mexico – literally – and she's none too happy about it. [TMZ]
  • Zoe Saldana was mighty pissed to find out that someone robbed her LA home when she was away. [TMZ]
  • Man, you wouldn't want to be a horse on the set of Dustin Hoffman's new TV show, Luck. With the third equine death reported yesterday they're dropping like flies. Or horses, as it were. [TMZ]
  • Unsurprisingly, Scarlett Johansson felt "absolutely violated" after her nude photos were leaked last year. [Daily Mail]
  • What made it doubly worse was that Scarlett initially thought a friend had betrayed her. [Yahoo]
  • Real estate porn: the Courtney Love edition. [Daily Mail]
  • Fans of UK black comedy Nighty Night will recognise a Jill Tyrell-inspired look from YSL's spring 2012 campaign. [OMG]

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Violet Baudelaire

Although the racial stuff is incredibly unnecessary, I've got to say that Howard Stern really doesn't have any goddamn right to talk about how anyone else raises their kids

P.S. Liam, don't worry, as long as your brother Chris is around you'll never be number one heartthrob in the world.

P.P.S. Oh LiLo. The red hair did not fix everything like I thought!