Sigh, it's come to this. You exhausted OKCupid, Tinder has come up dry, and you've had no luck on Grindr. You've decided it's time to buckle down and get serious about this casual sex thing. You've decided to turn to Craigslist. We've all hit up Craigslist Casual Encounters at least simply to peer through the looking glass of internet age loneliness. (DON'T TRY TO HIDE IT. I KNOW YOU DIDN'T "ACCIDENTALLY" CLICK ON THAT DICK PIC.) But if you're feeling a little pressure properly expressing the totality of the poetic stormy inner desires you wish to inflict on a person you've never met before, there's always science.
Collective Love is a beautiful site that generates hilariously nonsensical and blathering Craigslist posts based on real Craigslist posts from a given location and sexual preference. In it's own words:
With Collective Love, the amorous essence is extruded from a morass of anonymous expressions of lustful intent and offered to you. A product of the minds of thousands of strangers, it is not quite human, and yet not quite alien…It parses the content of these [Craigslist] listings and applies a markov chain algorithm to generate text using the ideas and feelings expressed by the ad posters.
For example, I entered the locale of Denver, CO, sexual preference as W4M, and a post length of 20 sentences (the shortest length), and ended up with this gem:
I will be interested you're good looking for a bath in a casual sex now; I'm still Very limited time. I am playfull and tell me like that being said I love making an Nsa pleasure if you aren't ready I am know what it will not I see what you cum in shape; and can host at me and take a man who is sexy, and horny and haven't done this idea, please pick it will be have if your cock and love to show me for anything more; fun dancing, parties, and looking for guys that point!
Completely unintelligible and yet remarkably clear. It's the Heinz Automato of Craigslist casual encounters. For a similar listing in Winnipeg, Manitoba:
Would like to show you seek? I'm a bit and need to learn all in the sport and good very discreet and discreet I'll get ready for someone at home tonight? I for proof. Let's get the following criteria: Arborist?
YES. LET US INDEED GET THE FOLLOWING CRITERIA: ARBORIST? The future of dating is here everyone. Collective Love is the only way now.
Image via Getty.