Lessons From A Stuntwoman (Do Not Try This At Home)

Illustration for article titled Lessons From A Stuntwoman (Do Not Try This At Home)

The awesome Zoë Bell (Death Proof, Whip It) explains how to fake-clothesline someone while on rollerskates in the October issue of Wired. Illustration number 4 does not look fun. (Click to enlarge.)

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DISCUSSION

beardowncbears-old
BearDownCBears

Those instructions are too tiny for me to read, so I'm gonna guess:

1. Race your opponent to the buried treasure. X marks the spot!

2. Eject your soul from your body, double-teaming your enemy. You should be OK as long as she's not a Ghostbuster.

3. Hit her so had in the chest she poops out a big blue arrow.

4. Throw blue poop-arrow in her face, causing her to fall, but not before strapping a bomb to her back and detonating it.

5. Do the YMCA dance on the edge of the rink.

6. Call on the Giant Thumbs Up of Doom to squish her, preferably while she's smelling her kneepad (gross), and remove her corpse from the rink. SHE IS UNWORTHY.