Less Drama, More Cupcakes & Anal: Your Resolutions For 2011

Illustration for article titled Less Drama, More Cupcakes  Anal: Your Resolutions For 2011

Plenty of us want to run marathons. And pay off loans. And quit smoking. And floss more. And then there were the others...

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This year, you resolved, among other things:

  • Be more high maintenance. This will ideally result in taking care of myself emotionally, spiritually and physically.
  • Watch at least 100 films I've never seen before.


Illustration for article titled Less Drama, More Cupcakes  Anal: Your Resolutions For 2011
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  • Not be afraid to make a fool of myself.
  • Become capable of reading a Chinese newspaper.

  • Start a band. A Ramones-style punk band.


Illustration for article titled Less Drama, More Cupcakes  Anal: Your Resolutions For 2011


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  • Only go out on dates with dudes I'm actually interested in, instead of just saying yes to be polite.

  • Give myself as much credit for my successes as I do my failures.

  • Remember that you are not at war with your body, that it wants to be healthy and hale, but you only get out what you put in (literally!)

  • Do foolhearty things twice as much - regret them half as often.

  • Spend less time in front of screens of any kind.

  • "Be the bombshell I know I am."


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  • No more cheap vodka.


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  • Join a roller derby team!

  • Get rich. Seriously.


Illustration for article titled Less Drama, More Cupcakes  Anal: Your Resolutions For 2011
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  • Go on vacation by myself.

  • Learn how to make puff pastry


  • Hookah more.

  • Give blood.

  • Run naked, when weather permits.

  • More "me" time! And anal sex. That's a big one.

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