Lady Gaga's Ladyflower Speaks; Chris Brown's Career Is "Done"

Illustration for article titled Lady Gaga's Ladyflower Speaks; Chris Brown's Career Is "Done"
  • Lady Gaga on those nasty hermaphrodite rumors:

"My little vagina is very offended." []

  • Celebrities seen attending DJ AM's memorial — designed to resemble a 12-step meeting — include Lindsay Lohan, Robert Downey Jr., John Mayer, Nicole Richie, Samantha Ronson, Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart. [AP, People]
  • Susan Boyle's album is topping Amazon's bestsellers list, even though it's not on sale until November. Pre-orders have the album out-selling Whitney Houston and the Twilight soundtrack. [Daily Mail]
  • So you know how Chris Brown critiqued Oprah for doing a show on domestic violence, dedicated to "all the Rihannas of the world"? He called it "a slap in the face." And he said: "I did a lot of stuff for her, like going to Africa and performing for her school. She could've been more helpful, like, ‘OK, I'm going to help both of these people out.'" A source says: "He's done. Whatever goodwill he had, he's totally ruined it by saying that. What was he thinking? And who the hell goes up against Oprah? It just shows he doesn't think. No one is going to want him as the face of their brand." [MSNBC Scoop]
  • Meanwhile: Rihanna has been seen being "touchy-feely" with "scenester" Travis London. [NY Daily News]
  • Michael Jackson's burial last night gave Katherine Jackson closure, sources say. "Everyone's been telling her how strong she is, but even she said, ‘It's not always easy to be this strong,'" says Rev. Al Sharpton, a Jackson family friend. [MSNBC Scoop]
  • Paris Jackson cried when she stepped into the mausoleum where her father was to be entombed; Katherine Jackson started to go in but turned back, overcome by grief. [AP]
  • Lisa Marie Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Chris Tucker, Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis attended Michael Jackson's burial. Gladys Knight sang. [People]
  • Michael Jackson was not buried at Neverland — or in Gary, Indiana, because his family wanted a "secluded, dignified resting place fitting for a music legend." His mother, Katherine, wanted to be able to visit her son without fanfare or fans. [Mirror]
  • An Australian newspaper mocked Russell Crowe for smoking and eating a big meal during a recent bike ride. Naturally Russell has challenged the paper's gossip columnist to a "duel by bicycle." Apparently Russell's spokesperson called the guy the next day and said: Get on your bike. Russell wants you to go riding with him. Are you ready to die?" [Breitbart]
  • Lisa Ling says that when her sister Laura Ling was held captive in North Korea, Diane Sawyer reached out: "She made calls and took meetings on our behalf for which we will be forever grateful." [People]
  • We've seen a lot of Jon Gosselin lately, but not a lot of his girlfriend. A source says of Hailey Glassman: "Hailey actually hates the fact that Jon is famous. She doesn't want to be photographed and doesn't like the attention." [Page Six]
  • Zooey Deschanel is "scrambling to slim down" for her wedding; she's been taking ballet workouts back to back. Or maybe she just likes the workout? [Page Six]
  • Joy Behar is silly. [Page Six]
  • Newly released emails from Carrie Prejean show that she and the pageant officials were butting heads way before she spoke out on same-sex unions. In a March 19 email, Carrie wrote to Miss California co-director Keith Lewis: "I WILL NOT BE VERBALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED ANYMORE BY ANY OF YOU. I HAVE A COMPETITION TO PREPARE FOR. I WILL NO LONGER BE DEALING WITH ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO BRING ME DOWN AT THIS POINT. I WILL ONLY SURROUND MYSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME HAPPY. AND RIGHT NOW, THAT IS NONE OF YOU. I WILL SEE YOU ALL IN APRIL. PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME AT ALL FROM THIS POINT FORWARD." [Fox News]
  • "Donald Trump is such a hands-on boss that he personally helps pick six of the 15 finalists in the Miss Universe pageant each year — because the preliminary judges often overlook the most beautiful contestants." [Page Six]
  • Check out this "commercial" for "Fecalux," starring Roseanne. It makes you poop. [ONTD]
  • All About Steve "is an oddly creepy, sour film, featuring a heroine so desperate and peculiar that audiences may be more likely to pity than root for her." [Rotten Tomatoes]
  • Jake Brockman, a former keyboard player with Echo and the Bunnymen, was killed in a motorcycle crash Tuesday on the Isle of Man. [BBC News]
  • Whatshername says Whatshisname has a "secret lover." [The Sun]
  • "I hope this show is a huge hit and that people love it. Because I like playing this character more than any character I've ever played." — Courteney Cox on upcoming show Cougar Town. [LA Times]
  • "The older I get, the younger the leading man gets." — Michelle Pfeiffer. [Telegraph]
  • "I've always said I believe in good music and bad music. ...I like music. My next album, which I'm working on now — that's exclusive, no one knows that — is gonna be the album that really's not gonna be a #1 album. That's where I'm at right now. I wanna make the most experimental album I ever made." — Jay-Z. [MTV News]
  • "People often look for deep psychological and emotional reasons why people eat, and I'm sure for many people those exist. But other people, and I would include myself, are just fucking greedy bastards who like eating. It's nice – it's a nice feeling. Eating chocolate is nice, right? Chocolate's fucking great. So I don't think it was a horrible self-comforting thing, I think it was just lack of self-discipline. Most people want a load of chocolate, but they stop. They think, if I do that I'll get fat. Whereas I just thought, I don't care." — Little Britain's Matt Lucas, who has recently lost weight because his doctor had warned him he was at risk of becoming diabetic. [Guardian]
  • "You can live a very normal life if you don't actually look for things. Someone said, 'Oh, I saw a picture of you on the Internet, that was a really pretty hat.' Not hat, I don't wear hats. 'That was a really great dress!' I was like, 'Oh, I just wore that the other day, how did you know?' 'Oh, well, on blank-blank-blank-dot-com.' I wouldn't know. I don't know whose movie made money — I haven't seen a movie. I don't know who's famous and who's not, I don't know any young people that are coming up. I'll see somebody, and I'll say, 'That girl's really pretty.' And someone may say, 'Oh, of course, she's on "The Hills" or something.' Is that a show? I've got strong opinions, and I can get short. But I'm just not that high-maintenance. So the whole world knows I had miscarriages. And yes, I've done in vitro however many times — three times. Yes, I've said that David and I go to therapy. Yes. Nothing's too precious for me. For some reason, I don't care. I wish I could be a little bit more, like, 'You're trying to dig something out of me,' and me being like, 'I'm not going to talk about that.' What do you want to talk about? I don't care." — Courteney Cox. [LA Times]
  • "I don't enjoy being looked at. But that's part of being successful, doing magazine covers. It's very masochistic – the one thing you're so afraid of you become addicted to. I'm addicted to being uncomfortable." — Megan Fox. [NY Daily News via Wonderland Magazine]

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I was watching the CNN coverage of Michael Jackson's burial for a couple minutes last night, around 7:30 their time, and the anchor said that Lindsay Lohan also tried to attend THAT funeral — she showed up and was turned away at the gate when she wasn't on the list.

To which I say: ENOUGH ALREADY, LINDSAY. Girl, you're starting to embarrass yourself.