We've been busy driving as fast as we can away from the trainwreck that was the Kim Kardashian-Kris Humphries split, but we'd better turn the car around because things just got interesting again. There is word that Kris Humphries has become emboldened and decided not to give Kim the divorce she is so desperate for—at least not until she gives him what he wants.
Money, of course, is the issue. Kris and his lawyers have reportedly received a "generous" divorce settlement from Kim's team, but Kris is holding off on signing until he's tried to squeeze every last drop of from the former love of his life. Apparently he's trying to get $7 million from Kim, which is more than what's being offered now. (For comparison, he makes $8 million for a year's worth of work in the NBA.) A source is also saying that he's offering to never speak about what happened between them in exchange for the seven mill. Certainly wouldn't be a bad paycheck for just 72 days on the job—that is, of course, assuming Kim breaks down and gives her former "love" what he wants. [E!]
Lindsay Lohan, who is just 48 hours away from being off probation, seems to be aiming for a full-scale televised comeback. First, there was her turn as host of Saturday Night Live, and now it's being reported that she's in final negotiations with Fox to appear as a guest star on Glee. She will play herself as a celebrity judge at Nationals, where hopefully she will be a little more amusing than she was on SNL. [TV Line, TMZ]
Wow, being in the Royal Family certainly does seem to involve a lot of time actually spent with family. First, while Prince William was traveling for work, Kate Middleton spent many a day making public appearances with his royal relations. Now the couple has gone on a ski trip with her parents and her brother, James, at a resort in France. Amazingly, a source says this ones on the ‘rents:
This was a treat from Kate's parents, as William and Kate's budget is quite small for trips. It's not the first time they have taken them away. They have all been to Meribel together before.
Really, William is a prince and he doesn't have enough money to take his wife skiing for the weekend? That is most whack. [Us]
Well, it's not exactly on the level of Meryl Streep playing Margaret Thatcher, but Jane Fonda is set to portray Nancy Reagan in the movie The Butler, about a butler who worked in the White House for 34 years. Forest Whitaker is playing the butler, and Oprah might even play his wife. Plus, we've got Liam Neeson and John Cusack as LBJ and Richard Nixon. Whoa. This movie could either be amazing or incredibly terrible, but nothing in between. [Digital Spy]
Two people in Texas are very pissed at Justin Bieber and want some of his money. About a month ago, he tweeted something to the effect of "Call me!" and gave a phone number that was one digit shy of being an actual Texas number. Of course, crafty fans tried to solve the puzzle by dialing all the possible numbers, which resulted in a few unlucky people getting a thousand phone calls. Two of them are mighty peeved and want Justin to pay up. Hmm. Do you guys smell that? It smells like greed is wafting out of a vent somewhere nearby. [CNN]
Speaking of Justin Bieber: Now that he is 18, he's fully qualified to offer advice on all kinds of adult matters. Here's his wisdom on how to have a good relationship:
You just have to be honest, that's the first thing, because if you're not honest, then the relationship is just not a good relationship. At the end of the day, your girl would appreciate you being honest more than lying to her and vice versa.
So true, Bieberino. So true. [Us]
You know you're unpopular when both Twitter and YouTube work together to try to off you with a death hoax. That's exactly what happened to Chris Brown today, and I doubt there are many people who feel too sorry for the "victim," who obviously is not actually dead. [E!]
Brand new mom Charlize Theron stepped out with her four-month-old son, Jackson, today, but unfortunately for us, he was in a car seat and covered totally with a blanket. So no glimpse of his face just yet. [E!]
I have read a lot of depressing celebrity gossip headlines in my time, but this TMZ headline is definitely in the top five: "Octomom Poses Nude For Rent Money." Yep, that pretty much tells you everything you need to know. [TMZ]
Attention celebrity dating obsessives, you ought to know that Olivia Munn has taken up with actor Joel Kinnaman, who plays the scruffy cop from The Killing. Apparently they've been together since Christmastime and are "heading towards being serious." That's lovely, but what we really need to know is if he's told her who killed Rosie Larsen? [E!]
Steven Tyler celebrated his 64th birthday with a walk on the beach in Hawaii. He's wearing sandals that show off his bright blue pedicure, and it is a look that is almost exquisite in its awfulness. Don't say I didn't warn you. [E!]
Nene Leakes, of Real Housewives of Atlanta fame, is continuing her transition into Hollywood actress. She's been on Glee this season, and now she's landed a recurring role on an NBC sitcom called The New Normal. [The Grio]
Whoa. Why didn't anyone tell us that Marion Cotillard has the world's most adorable son who is made doubly adorable by the fact that his name is Marcel? [Just Jared]
The evil Vera Bates may have been killed (though certainly not by Mr. Bates!) off of Downton Abbey, but Maria Doyle Kennedy, the actress who played her is coming back as one of the stars of Julian Fellowes's Titanic. Luckily for us, she's playing another bitch, though this time of the middle-class snob variety. [Express]
Not that this hasn't been predictable from almost the very start of his career, but Dennis Rodman has ended up broke and with a serious alcohol addiction. His manager says he has a, "well-documented drinking problem, and all the stress from the divorce and not seeing his kids isn't helping. As people know, it's a daily struggle. He has good days and bad ones and good weeks and bad weeks." His attorney also said he's "extremely sick," though it's not clear exactly what he's suffering from. He owes a shit-ton of money for child support and could end up in jail if he doesn't pay it, which he probably won't, since he's broke. Oh, sad. [ABC]
Chaka Khan has re-recorded a special version of her song "Super Life" in memory of Trayvon Martin. The video features Eric Benet, Kelly Price, Kenny Lattimore, Angela Bassett, Terry Crews, and Boris Kodjoe. [USA Today]
I can honestly say that I have not spent one second of my life forming an opinion about Johnny April, the bassist from Staind, but now I have decided he is a good person. He recently donated $150,000 to an ambulance company that serves six towns in rural Massachusetts. They had an old ambulance from 1998 and needed a new one, and now they can buy it thanks to April. That is very nice—not nice enough to get me to start listening to Staind, but still, job well done. [AP]