Khloe Kardashian Is Ready To Fuck These Bottles of Febreze

Illustration for article titled Khloe Kardashian Is Ready To Fuck These Bottles of Febreze
Photo: Getty

One good thing about the internet is that is constantly produces stark visual illustrations of the aphorism that money will never buy happiness. Wealthy people will embarrass themselves in pursuit of further riches, always, and on Instagram they will do it rather publicly. Yesterday, that symbol of hubris and greed was Khloe Kardashian, resplendent in bed, staring into the camera as if she were going to imminently fuck it, surrounded by ten bottles of Febreze (TM). In three photos, we are to understand Febreze is both a sensual object and a domestic luxury item, like a Dolce & Gabanna stand mixer: A pantless Kardashian lounges on a plush couch, her legs angled suggestively towards bottles of Febreze.

Advertisement

More bottles are set on the veranda table outside, getting some sunlight, arranged like lazy afternoon glasses of wine. Bottles of Febreze, tactfully bedazzled on every imaginable surface, are set next to a photo of Kardashian holding a small child. “Buy my favorite scent,” writes Kardashian, before dropping a link. Kardashian’s favorite scent is “extra strength.

Advertisement

In our world of myriad inequalities, it’s comforting to learn even ruthless real estate baron-slash-reality TV stars get hosed sometimes: Last week, it appears Barbara Corcoran parted with nearly $400,000 after a scammer impersonated her assistant though a phishing scam. From a fake email address, someone with an IP address in China sent an invoice to Corcoran’s office for real estate renovations; the issue went unnoticed until after the money had already been wired. The Shark Tank host and titan of industry, who sold her business in 2001 for $66 million, is taking it all in stride: “I was upset at first, but then remembered it was only money,” Corcoran told People. This is the correct position to take, and Jezebel’s thoughts are with the scammer, who is probably having an absolutely killer week. [People]


We’re pleased to report Miley Cyrus and Cody Simpson are continuing their transformation into 2001 MySpace teens. From Cyrus’ Instagram story, matching couples’ mullets:

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Khloe Kardashian Is Ready To Fuck These Bottles of Febreze

[Us Magazine]


  • TMZ helpfully finds a sex worker to speak for all sex workers, this time on the issue of Stephen Spielberg’s adopted daughter, Mikaela. [TMZ]
  • Jake Gyllenhaal pivots to cybersecurity? We’re in great hands. [Just Jared]
  • TikTok man Jason Clark talks his “near death experience” after getting trapped under some ice filming a video. [People]

Molly Osberg is a Senior Reporter with G/O Media.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

thhg
The Holy Hand Grenade

The sponcon could have been way less weird if she only used the caption “YOU try looking sexy while your house smells like baby vomit. Febreze: get your horny on, save your gag reflex for the good shit.”