For the past couple months, Jane Magazine has been publishing a blog on its website written by one Sarah Di Muro, who details her quest to get laid for the first time at age 29.
In today's installment, Sarah chronicles her recent dalliances with Michigan Man (whom she met online and then paired up with in person in a Manhattan Starbucks) and Cute Blonde (whom she's seen once already). Because it's always difficult for a girl in the midst of a dating binge to see things clearly, we've decided to help Sarah on her quest by keeping score.
1st Inning: Michigan Man tells Sarah he's a Mets fan but also "appreciates the Red Sox". This makes Sarah happy. Our Call: Foul ball. Of course he appreciates the Red Sox, Sarah: haven't you ever heard of Bill "Fucking" Buckner???
2nd Inning: Michigan Man tells Sarah the first thing he looks at in a woman when he's dating online is her appearance; confesses his distaste for girls who live at home with their mothers and/or go out drinking every night. Our Call: Bloop single. Sarah, it's good that he's honest, but it sounds like the date was all about what he likes and wants, with an accompanying track of "Totally"s and "I bet"s provided by you. Assert yourself!
3rd Inning: After drinking mojitos and parting for the night, Sarah confesses that Michigan Man "is 26 and just seems so carefree." Our Call: Change-up. There's a reason for him being so carefree, Sarah. He's 26, cute, and he works in finance. Watch your back.
4th Inning: More news on Cute Blonde: He and Sarah are going to see Julianne Moore on Broadway this Friday. Sarah coos over the way Cute Blonde asks her out, writing "Hi Miss DiMuro, I would like to have a date with you sometime soon. I'm feeling more mature than I did last year and I'm only a few days into 32. When are you free?". Our Call: Pitching change. What: he couldn't call you to ask you out?
5th Inning: Sarah confesses that "maybe, MAYBE" she can meet someone online with whom she has an "immediate sexual connection." Our Call: Swing harder! Online dating isn't about Maybes, Sarah: It's about a few beers, a couple condoms in your pocket, and a cute outfit. If you're looking for real love, you're probably looking in the wrong place.
The Date-A-Thon Continues[Jane Magazine]