Kate Middleton's Gown Fails To Revolutionize Bridal Industry

Though the Duchess Formerly Known As Kate is the first human to ever think of putting sleeves on a wedding gown (according to hysterical royal watchers) her Sarah Burton-designed gown seems to have had little effect on Bridal Fashion Week, which is currently underway in New York. Designer Gregory Nato said, “That dress silhouette already existed. Other designers copied that and had it on the runway right away, but what we noticed though, is that nobody bought it.” Rather than engaging in wedding day cosplay, brides are clamoring for tea length dresses that show off their absurdly expensive shoes, and gowns that convert from a demure ensemble for the ceremony to a reception dress that’s sexy enough to upset grandma.