Karl Lagerfeld Doesn't Drink Water — Just Diet Coke

As soon as Karl Lagerfeld explains that he sleeps in "a long, full-length white shirt, in a material called poplin imperial, made for me by Hilditch & Key in Paris after a design of a 17th-century men's nightshirt I saw at the Victoria and Albert Museum," you get the sense that the Kaiser's daily routine is going to be pretty special.

The Chanel designer/ice cream pitchman/probable robot details a day in his life for the new Harper's Bazaar. And I do mean details.

Here are the things Karl Lagerfeld drinks: Diet Coke. Sugar-free protein shakes prepared for him by his doctor. And Diet Coke. "I drink Diet Coke from the minute I get up to the minute I go to bed. I can even drink it in the middle of the night, and I can sleep. I don't drink coffee, I don't drink tea, I drink nothing else." Karl Lagerfeld finds all hot drinks "very strange." He drinks ten cans per day.

Here are the things Karl Lagerfeld sleeps in: White sheets trimmed with lace, white antique bedding, white pillow cases. He has everything laundered daily. "I like everything to be washable, myself included."

Here are the things Karl Lagerfeld puts in his bath: "I used to have a product I loved, by Shu Uemura, but they don't make it anymore, so I found a French product that softens the water; it's a hundred years old. I put half a bottle in."

Here is how Karl Lagerfeld keeps his hair white: Klorane dry shampoo.

Here are the newspapers that Karl Lagerfeld reads: "I do most of my reading in the morning. I have a special canopy for that, near the window, where I can see the Louvre and the Seine. I only read, look at books, and sketch. And daydream — daydreaming's important too. At night there are the dreams too, but I don't have too many. I read the French, English, and some American papers, some German papers, Women's Wear."

Here is Karl Lagerfeld's policy on exercise: "My doctor said it's not necessary. I did a lot when I was very young, and all you do when you're young stays."

Here is how Karl Lagerfeld has lunch: "I never have lunch."

Here is what Karl Lagerfeld does as he is driven to his office at Chanel: "On my way to the Chanel studio, I like to look around, I like to look at Paris. I never get tired of Paris. A lot of people are on the phone all the time; they don't see anything anymore."

Here is what Karl Lagerfeld hates most: "What I hate most is when you have to look at your watch and get in a hurry to change for dinner, if you have an important dinner. Every dinner is important; you should never be without a dinner, but this I'm a little tired of. I did a lot of it in my life."

Here is how Karl Lagerfeld regards his cat, Choupette: "The cat is like a very refined object; she doesn't go into the street, and she doesn't go to other places." When Karl Lagerfeld is out, Choupette is cared for by a maid.

All told, Lagerfeld seems to have a pretty cushy schedule, albeit one that he pursues with a quasi-military sense of routine. He sleeps for seven hours, eats a breakfast of steamed apple and two of his protein shakes while reading. Then, still in his nightgown, he sketches. After bathing and dressing, he goes to Chanel headquarters around 5 p.m. and works there for three hours. "I'm not there in the studio draping — I don't do those things," says the designer. "My work is very conceptual."

My List: Karl Lagerfeld [Harper's Bazaar]