Kanye Got His First Cell Phone to Convince Kim to Dump Kris Humphries

The series finale of Kocktails With Khloe airs Wednesday night, and its guests are four klose friends who kould have kept the show from being kanceled had it premiered with them: Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Chrissy Teigen, and John Legend.


While chowing down on what appears to be the Frito Pie recipe from Chrissy’s cookbook, Kanye tells the story of how he wooed his wife/the mother of his two children, revealing that he bought a cellphone specifically “because somebody decided that they wanted to marry Kris Humphries”:

I wasn’t up to anything. I looked on the internet, and there was Kim Kardajan [he can’t pronounce Kardashian] with some extremely tall person. And I was like, I need to call her or something. And so I started sending her pictures of, like, certain basketball players that used to be cool that now wear their pants all the way up here, like, THIS IS YOUR FUTURE.

John confirms the story, adding, “I remember when you didn’t have a phone, and then you got one, and the only number that you had was,” before gesturing to Kim.

This story is equal parts sweet, cruel, funny, and sad, shaken, and poured into a martini glass garnished with a lemon twist (the twist is Kanye’s story about North eventually dropping his phone, full of The Life of Pablo lyrics, into the toilet).

[Refinery 29]

I know I wrote plenty about Lindsay Lohan and Egor Tarabasov’s engagement last week, but this story about the couple doing karaoke [at one of my favorite karaoke places] Saturday night suggests that they aren’t?


Writes Page Six:

LiLo crooned a rendition of Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror.” She and Tarabasov were engaged on April 8, although her camp denied it.


Nothing strange about this relationship! Nope. Everything’s on the up and up.

[Page Six]

Melissa the 40-Year-Old Witch planned her birthday party herself.


  • Nina Dobrev and Scott Eastwood are getting “flirty,” pt. 1. [Us Weekly]
  • Nina Dobrev and Scott Eastwood are getting “flirty,” pt. 2. [People]
  • Rihanna is OK with the Chris Brown documentary. [The Hollywood Life]
  • Iggy Azalea is OK with Nick Young. [THL]
  • Aisha Tyler is not OK. :disappointed: [E! Online]

Staff Writer, Jezebel | Man


In that clip from ET they announced her age and weight and then implied it’s pathetic to plan your own bday party.

I’m 30, 140ish and planning my own birthday party too. YOURE NOT INVITED ET. The rest of ya’ll are.