Last week, Business Insider ran a piece asking what will happen to all the baby boomer luxury ranches millennials are too selfish to buy, and I briefly felt terrible at the thought of all these unspoiled acres and rustic mansions falling to ruin because I cruelly choose to live in a cramped two-bedroom apartment with a roommate in my thirties. Luckily, we’ve got a solution: Kanye West, a Gen X-er, will save the luxury ranches.
He has begun his crusade to rescue the nation’s orphaned palatial Ponderosas by purchasing Monster Lake, a 9,000-acre ranch in Wyoming, while he goes through his Saved religious album phase and finishes an album called Jesus Is King. Hopefully, his ranch, more than half the size of Manhattan, will be large enough to contain the noise from his listening party, since his last party in Wyoming at the rented Diamond Cross Ranch was so loud weary ranchers called the law, afeared the ruckus would startle the herds:
“Kanye’s ye listening party was so loud that it triggered immediate complaints from the Diamond Cross Ranch’s neighbors, according to The Blast. Teton County has strict noise ordinances, which Kanye’s party wholly ignored. The ranch’s owner told The Blast that there will be ‘no more rappers’ at her ranch. Well, rappers can now head over to Monster Lake Ranch for all their listening party needs.”
Wyoming, take it from Idaho. If celebrities want your state, they will buy it. [Hollywood Life]
Duchess Meghan took a commercial flight to see her good friend Serena Williams play some tennis in the U.S. Open Final. This is her first solo trip since baby Archie was born, according to reports. Just her and her security detail on a jaunt through the big city. Like Roman Holiday but with Serena Williams in the Gregory Peck role, speeding Markle off on a Vespa. Please, someone, make that movie. [E! News]
- An old clip of Tamar Braxton shutting down Jeannie Mai has people wondering what exactly it is she’s doing with Jeezy. [Bossip]
- 50 Cent mocking alleged victims of Michael Jackson in defense of Chris Brown in taunts aimed at Michael Jackson’s 21-year-old daughter is exceptionally appalling even to me, a person who reads celebrities’ appalling comments for a living. [TMZ]
- YG and Kehlani are dating. [CNN]
- Zooey Deschanel is divorcing a person to whom I was not aware she was married. [People]
- Matt Lauer’s ex-wife is getting $20 million and a Hamptons horse farm in addition to being free of Matt Lauer. [Page Six]
- The fact that Julianne Hough is “not straight” has somehow been inspirational to her hockey player husband in ways I could not quite capture armed only with the context clues given me by this article, but happy hunting to the rest of you. [Us Weekly]