Justin Timberlake Farts Himself A River

Illustration for article titled Justin Timberlake Farts Himself A River
  • Toxic bachelors with toxic butts! Whereas George Clooney gets the runs when visiting Africa, Justin Timberlake gets major gas when in Europe. Poor Jessica Biel. [TheSun]
  • Ellen Barkin is really slumming it. The actress is hooking up with professional scumbag and emosogynist Ralph Fiennes. [Page Six]
  • Oh man: How we would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when Mary Kate & Ashley professed their love for Bob Dylan to his face. [Rush & Molloy, 3rd item]
  • Knocked Up's Katherine Heigl is getting married this December. [Rush & Molloy, 10th item]
  • Shocker! A married male movie star is hitting on other women! [Gatecrasher, 6th item]
  • PETA calls Sicko director Michael Moore a hypocrite because he eats meat. [Scoop]
  • Paris Hilton's trash is up for sale on Ebay... and no one's buying. [USAToday]

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Alpine Joe

Hmmmm, film "star" who is married with kids. Boy, that could be anyone. Who do they consider a "star?" My first thought was Ben Affleck, but he's not really hot right now. Not Brad Pitt. Not Johnny Depp. Not Tom Cruise.

I dunno.