Just Accept The Fact That We Know Nothing About Kate Middleton

Illustration for article titled Just Accept The Fact That We Know Nothing About Kate Middleton

There are new reports that she's chosen The Dress. Like everything else about this story, it's total speculation.

Advertisement

Let's just make this easy and outline exactly what we know about this whole situation:

1. Kate Middleton and Prince William met at Saint Andrews.

2. They lived in the same house for a while.

3. They've been together a long time.

4. They're engaged.

5. She has some pretty dresses and a really nice ring.

5. She will probably wear some kind of dress at her wedding.

6. There are lots of designers who have designed pretty dresses for lots of people.

What we don't know? Her future title, anything about their personal lives, what she's going to wear at any point in her life, similarities to or differences from Princess Diana, specifics of the ceremony, whether or not Elton John will play, or who will play her in the inevitable cable-TV movie of her life.

But maybe none of that matters. After all, the reality of Kate Middleton has never been as important as our imaginings of her. In a sense, maybe the actual selection of the dress will almost be an anticlimax: as long as we're all guessing and speculating and putting together clues, it feels like we're all a part if the decision. Think about it: could anything be further from our own experience than a royal wedding? Most of us couldn't have lives more different from that of a royal, or understand less what that life will entail, let alone the wedding ceremony. That's what makes all our speculation particularly ludicrous — but also, maybe, why it's fun. With movie stars at least we have characters and interviews to project; with Middleton et al, we don't even have that and our imaginations can truly run wild. Once she's chosen her dress, we can all copy it — but until then, maybe she'll be in something we'd pick. That's a kind of power — however pretend.

The Wedding Planners: Kate's Mum And Sister Drop A Hint About The Dress By Visiting Oldfield's Boutique [Daily Mail]

DISCUSSION

ASmallTurnip
A Small Turnip

Oh, we know a few more things, Sadie. I sent this into #tips a few weeks ago, but as it slipped between the cracks, I'll offer it up again:

Kate Middleton is, as we all know, undergoing rigorous training for her future as a royal. But what has been strangely overlooked is the fact that she is being tutored in the history of the House of Windsor by an infamous right-wing historian who blames concentration camp victims for their own deaths.

Andrew Roberts is about as vile and mendacious a historian as it is possible to find. He's on the record as declaring, "To [the] charge of snobbery I plead guilty, with pride," saying he has "an exaggerated sense of – and tak[es] an unapologetic delight in – class distinctions." This is the least revolting of his pronouncements, but does give one some of the flavour of his views.

I am astonished that his mentoring relationship with Kate Middleton hasn't been more widely picked up in the British press, or even in the wider blogging world. It is genuinely hair-raising news.

For further info on Roberts, read this, and then go outside of a nice, brain-cleansing walk.