Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'

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The Tony Awards (otherwise known as the "Gay Super Bowl") were last night and, of course, we just had to comment on the clothes. The play-by-play, after the jump.

Illustration for article titled Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'

Christina Applegate: First down. The Hollywood "Glamour Barbie"-look may be Red Carpet 101, but Applegate wears it well.

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Illustration for article titled Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'

Claire Danes: Penalty. Is it just us, or does Claire Danes own one dress in five different colors?

Illustration for article titled Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'

Donna Murphy: Fumble. The woman looks a fool.

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Idina Menzel: Interference. Ruining Wicked star Menzel's gorgeous frock is her grumpy face.

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Jane Krakowski: Instant replay. This silver lame dress is so... Studio 54.

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Marcia Gay Harden: Penalty. No, we don't know what she was thinking.

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Naomi Watts: Sacked. Beautiful pregnancy-inflated breasts should not be hidden away in a sheath. The only redeeming part of this whole ensemble is that it is accessorized with Liev Schreiber.

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Bill T. Jones: Touchdown. Throwing a Henley-style sweater underneath a tuxedo makes the legendary modern dancer and newly-minted Tony-winner even dreamier than ever. And yes, we know he's gay.

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Patti Lupone: Unnecessary roughness. Why do Patti Lupone's clothes always look like they're trying to attack her?

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Vanessa Williams: Pass completed. Nice arc, great catch.

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Zach Braff: Ejected. With a haircut this bad, Braff deserves to be benched for the entire season.

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Carla Gugino: Touchdown. The color! The cut! The hair! The jewels! Gugino is almost a dead-ringer for Marilyn Monroe, who she played on Broadway back in 2004's After The Fall, and makes glamorous — and wearing chartreuse — look easy.

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DISCUSSION

whoneedslight
whoneedslight

@bimbassa:

Actually, it's Jon Lovitz.