Judge Prescribes Bowling and Red Lobster as Remedy for Domestic Violence

Illustration for article titled Judge Prescribes Bowling and Red Lobster as Remedy for Domestic Violence

A Florida judge has ordered a man accused of grabbing his wife by the neck and shoving her into the back of their couch to take the woman out on a proper date: Red Lobster, and bowling. Anything else shitty and totally inappropriate you want to suggest, judge? A gentle fingerbanging session, perhaps?


Judge John Hurley's light hearted domestic violence joke ruling came at the culmination of the case leveled by Plantation, Florida's Sonja Bray against her husband Joseph. According to the complaint, the trouble started when Joseph neglected to wish Sonja a happy birthday and escalated to Joseph becoming violent.

Sonja appeared in court and when asked by the judge, said she didn't feel threatened by her husband, even though she'd call the police to intervene in his violent behavior before. Judge Hurley thoughtfully followed up by asking her if she likes to go out to a particular restaurant, or if she has any particular hobbies, and Sonja responded that she enjoys Red Lobster and bowling.

Joseph had no prior record, and the Hon. Judge Hurley decided that the violence involved in the incident was "very, very minor," so instead of ordering jail time or a fine, he laid out the blueprints for the dream date of every girl's dreams.

He's going to stop by somewhere and he's going to get some flowers. And then he's going to go home, pick up his wife, get dressed, take her to Red Lobster. And then after they have Red Lobster, they're going to go bowling.

In addition to the dream date, Hurley ordered counseling for the couple, which is probably a better idea than all three of Hurley's other ideas combined. I fail to see why we need to drag Cheddar Bay Biscuits into this.

Flowers, dinner, bowling— and counseling— ordered by Broward judge in domestic violence case [Sun Sentinel]



Florida, what the hell?

On an unrelated note, Cheddar Bay biscuits are awesome and the day I learned to make them for myself was the best day of my life.