Ohmaaaaagaaaaa, Channing Tatum and Joseph Gordon Levitt are in talks to be cast as the Guys — Skye Masterson and Nathan Detroit respectively — in the Fox remake of Joseph L. Mankiewicz’s 1955 movie musical Guys and Dolls. Which is kind of as perfect as it’s gonna get without old-school Marlon Brando steaming up the joint. It’s almost unfair.
They can dance, JGL is vaguely wimpy and neurotic, Chay Tates is believable as seedy gambler/Grade-A beefcake. They both look good in hats. Fun for the whole family!
The actual idea of a remake still makes me feel icky, but so did watching Hollister shoplifter Jenny Sarbu butcher “Adelaide’s Lament” sophomore year of high school, so there you go. (Sorry I’m not sorry, Jenny.)
Speaking of which, any casting predictions or suggestions for the Dolls? [Deadline]
In their continuing bid to become Jay-Z and Beyonce, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel will be co-hosting a fundraiser for President Obama being thrown by Harvey Weinstein and Georgina Chapman.
Reportedly “the intimate party is billed to include fewer than 65 guests with tickets costing $32,400 per couple.” So maybe if you’re single, and then you cut off a few limbs you really don’t need, you—no, you still can’t afford it. [Page Six]
New-ish dad Steve Martin went on the Late Show with David Letterman and was adorable and funny about his baby. He’s still not telling the press the baby’s name.
“We’ve thought about the name quite a bit. Conquistador. What do you think? I didn’t want to go with one of those Hollywood weird names,” he quipped. “Conquistador is a statement.”
During his interview, Martin also put a baby monitor on Letterman’s desk. “The baby’s back at the hotel,” he explained, “and I’m a responsible dad.”
When various noises came through the speaker (ranging from a barking dog to a car alarm), Martin joked, “I think I left the window open!”
You know that thing where you want someone to be your grandpa, but kind of also want to have sex with him? Yeah, that thing!! [Us Weekly]
Dina Eastwood, Clint’s wife and one of the stars of reality show Mrs. Eastwood & Company, has checked herself into a facility in Arizona to get help for depression and anxiety. TMZ refers to it as “rehab,” but reportedly she’s not being treated for substance abuse, so I’m not sure if that’s the right terminology? Feel better! [TMZ]
Bradley Cooper and Rachel McAdams (Claire and Sack Lodge from Wedding Crashers!) are having moons over my hammy and falling in eternal love. Here’s a mouth-breather who was probably watching them and jerking it in an elm tree nearby.
“Bradley happily spent nearly two hours with Rachel, flirting and laughing over their meal. He seemed very into her. Rachel put her hand on his back and he put his on her shoulder. They were laughing and talking, and Bradley would not take his eyes off of her! It definitely seemed like they were a couple. At one point Rachel put her hand on his hips and he was talking very close to her.”
If this actually comes to fruition, Coop-Dooper and McAdams will have to have a Hunger Games-style battle with those other irritatingly adorable couples. like Emily Blunt and Jon Krasinski, except mid-way through they’d just decide to go to brunch. [Life and Style]
- Kim Kardashian has declined to do a Demi Moore-style nude pregnant photo shoot/ruin yet another one of your damp-haired 9 AM freezing-cold-office gossip-website-scanning mornings at the office. [In Touch]
- Ben Affleck, is getting an honorary doctorate from Brown. How do you like THEM apples, Matt Damon. [E!]
- NICOLE RICHIE JUST WANTS TO CHILL. PLEASE LET HER CHILL. THANK YOU WORLD. [Us Weekly]
- Mad Men was guilty of an anachronism: a line about the restaurant Le Cirque (opened in 1974!) and everyone squeezed out a lil’ turd about it, the kind my mother used to call “pebbles.” [Page Six]
- Edward Norton shoved a paparazzo who then ran to Beth Israel with a “sore finger” and is now suing. [Page Six]
- Kate Middleton wore a Disney Princess-looking dress and made an IRL 😀 [Us Weekly]
- Mariah Carey and #dembabies had a pajama party, which most likely involved singing Mariah Carey songs and bathing in a tub full of diamonds. [People]
- Three Doors Down bassist Robert Todd Harrell has checked into rehab after causing a fatal car crash while driving under the influence. [People]
- Olivia Munn isn’t psyched about the Swedish food provided by the family of boyfriend Joel Kinnaman. [People]
- Selena Gomez has a crush on Baby Goose. [Gossip Cop]
- “A source said ‘The Way We Were’ singer “only likes her left side to appear to the audience.” And everyone who has seen Barbra Streisand’s right side has been relocated to a quarantine zone in Ittoqqortoormiit, Greenland. [Page Six]
- Amy Winehouse documentary is happening. [Chicago Tribune]
- Felicity Huffman changed the hair on her head. [Us Weekly]
- Lena Dunham at the TIME 100 Gala cocktail party, on what would happen if Hannah Horvath went to the TIME 100 Gala cocktail party: “First, she would get drunk. Then she would say something culturally insensitive to an activist who fights for that culture. Then she would vomit. Then she would sleep with someone who she thought was Miguel, but it wasn’t.” [TIME]
- A (female) French photographer was charged with invasion of privacy for secretly snapping those topless shots of Kate Middleton that ran in Closer last year. [Telegraph UK]
- Justin Bieber flipped out in Denmark (which, in a space-time continuum wormhole, inspired Shakespeare to write Hamlet). [Radar Online]
- Watch this video of Reese Witherspoon getting arrested. Or don’t! Your life will prob turn out the same either way. [Page Six]