Jonah Hill Is Getting Married Before You

Jonah Hill’s dating life isn’t something I think a lot about, landing somewhere between “Giovanni Ribisi’s facial hair” and “cabbage” in terms of things that take up my brain space. That seems to be by design, since Hill has managed to keep his personal affairs largely under wraps despite his fame.

But ever-vigilant TMZ reports that Hill is now an engaged man, having spotted him and Gianna Santos, his girlfriend of a year, walking around the dumb late-summer rain with a substantial rock strapped to her finger. They also have matching umbrellas, which I think is a more authentic indicator of lifelong commitment than any diamond.

Santos, 29, is a content manager at L.A.-based beauty company Violet Gray. Hill was in the movie Superbad, and later, the movie The Wolf of Wall Street. It’s unclear how they got together, so let’s say they met the way we all hope to meet our future partners—by connecting over LinkedIn. [TMZ]

Rumors that Jeezy and The Real host Jeannie Mai were together started in January, though Mai previously said that, “He’s very special to me. We don’t really have a label to define what it is we’re doing. We’re just having a good time together.”

But that was January, and this is…oh my god, it’s September. Good for them, and good for love. [Page Six]

• Stassi Schroeder will of course televise her wedding, you sillies. [E! News]
• Sam Smith took his love of heels to an award show for the first time. [People]
• Azealia Banks is at it again. [Consequence of Sound]
• Reese Witherspoon might testify at Ryan Phillipe’s assault trial. [