John Oliver Is Seriously Pissed About That Fake Shark Week Documentary

Illustration for article titled John Oliver Is Seriously Pissed About That Fake Shark Week Documentary

A lot of people were fooled and annoyed and annoyed to be fooled by Shark Week's fake two-hour documentary about megalodons. The Discovery Channel never apologized for scaring the crap out of the seventy-three percent of viewers who now think megalodons still exist, and John Oliver is not pleased by their sharkhavior.*

You faked a two-hour sharkgasm and your disclaimer was three seconds at the end? You know no one saw those blinking lights at the bottom of the screen, don’t you? Because before the end of that show they were too busy calling their families to say, ‘Get the hell out of the ocean! Get out of the swimming pool! Get out of the bathtub! There’s a monster shark! There’s a monster shark!'

Unfortunately, the Discovery Channel didn't issue a megalapology.

Watch until the very end for the bit about women fishing with their vaginas. I'm okay if Jon Stewart never comes back from shooting that movie. I'm not saying I want him to sleep with the sharks, I'm just saying this sharkcation with Oliver is as sweet as a cool ocean breeze.

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*??

[via Rawstory]

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DISCUSSION

Shark week is about 20% science, 60% footage of breeches and bites, 20% dramatic narration.

The worst part is, actual shark scientists will modify their methods to stuff that's more invasive and traumatic for the animals, so that it's dramatic for the cameras, they get on shark week, and get more funding.

The best shark documentary I've seen on years was by Gordon Ramsay, on shark finning and restaurant culture, on the BBC.

There's just so much more than great whites. I want to see wobbegongs, Greenland sharks, nurse and lemon sharks, hammerheads, dogfish, threshers, makos, blue sharks, bonnet heads, bull sharks, cookie cutter sharks, basking sharks, whale sharks, goblin sharks, mega mouths, even prehistoric ones like helicoprion (check out this crazy fossil) as long as they don't pretend they're still fucking alive, conservation issues, their actual behavior and biology. Not this bullshit again and again!!! It's because they're slaves to ratings and this is what a lot of people want, or at least what the producers think they want. But it's cheaper to have someone re-act a story than send a crew out for months into the wild.

NERD RAGE

/end rant