John McCain's Speeches Suck; Samantha Power Is The Comeback Kid

This was one of those days where, a little hungover, I totally wanted to talk about important stuff like the teenage stripper or how the crappy Mark Penn might have finally done something that Hillary will be forced to fire him over or even racism in Pennsylvania, but Moe was away and I was all like, oh, dammit, I miss her! It's weird to talk about underage strippers with a dude, let alone racism in Pennsylvania when neither of us has ever lived there, so Spencer Ackerman of the Washington Independent and Too Hot for TNR and I talk about how McCain sucks, Samantha Power is making amends and, of course, tonight's Battlestar: Galactica. Watch as we continue to cheat on Moe after the jump.


SPENCER: we gonna do this?
MEGAN: See, if you were Moe we would totally be discussing the whole people in Pennsylvania might be kind of racist thing, but I don't know anyone from Latrobe, don't drink Rollg Rock (which isn't even brewed there anymore) and I can't really say for Pennsylvania, so unless you've got thoughts, we might want to just talk about the dude who was stockpiling AK-47s because they would be really valuable when Hillary got elected and banned them.
SPENCER: unfortunately, DC's popular coffee shop Busboys and Poets hosts wi-fi so weak that I can't open any links, so I need you to flesh that story out for me a bit
srsly, this is like dial-up or something
and why would you drink rolling rock? yuengling!
If yuengling ever decided to launch a national ad campaign, it should use 'Jingling Baby' by LL
'it's yueng-a-ling, baby/ go 'head baby...'
MEGAN: Well, I don't really drink beer ever, except for that beer I brought to poker night which I found out I liked when I told a bartender I didn't drink beer and he made me try every single one in the bar, and there were 40.
That was a lot of beer. By the end, I sort of didn't care either way, but I liked that one best.
SPENCER: god, you know what was a great band? Catherine Wheel
MEGAN: Oh, right, the story. Um, people in Latrobe never say they're not going to vote for Obama because he's black but they've got all these other reasons that don't sound legit and it makes themm sound like they won't vote for him because he's black. The best quote is this:

In a place like Latrobe, which the census says is 99 percent white, the race issue is almost an unexplored country that people visit like tourists with a phrase book.


SPENCER: i've been listening to both 'Ferment' and 'Chrome' since i got here
MEGAN: Ok, your Internet connection sucks.
—— 14 minutes ——
SPENCER: And we're back!
now reporting live from Mocha Hut
MEGAN: I was listening to Morning Joe while I waited because Joe Scarborough shouts less than Steve Doocey and doesn't make me want to claw my eyes out like the inanity of Kirin Chetry.
SPENCER: whoever these people are
MEGAN: Anyway, so, your friend Samantha Power gave another interview.
SPENCER: i find DC is much more enjoyable when the only time you watch the chat shows is the gym
MEGAN: Sam said that she thinks that Hillary is a monster the same way that she thinks Pay-Rod is.
SPENCER: i love how the monster thing has only made Sam stronger
OK see
Sam is a prescient and insightful critic of American foreign policy
yet her baseball views are hopelessly blinkered
MEGAN: Or maybe there's just something in the Brooklyn water supply that blinds you to the Yankee suckage.
SPENCER: the more important point is that, yes, what the Scotsman did to Samantha was a deliberate misrepresentation of what she so obviously meant
MEGAN: Which is that Hillary has fangs and hides under the bed and that's why she's up at 3 am to answer the phone call?
SPENCER: I mean, I don't really think Jonathan Papelbon blows goats like his name was Mickey Kaus
but I'm still going to shout it at my TV
MEGAN: As long as you don't shout it on Yawkee Way, you're probably fine.
SPENCER: or at least, I take Papelbon at his word that he doesn't blow goats
there's no evidence that I've seen of Papelbon blowing goats
oh, did I ever tell you how I want to die?
i want to die being ripped limb from limb at Fenway
that's my dream
call the make-a-wish foundation
MEGAN: I haven't seen any evidence that Jeter felches goats either.
SPENCER: does the goat have herpes? there's your evidence
mom, stop reading!
crap, she's gonna be PISSED
MEGAN: Oh, well, yours and mine both but for different reasons.
Aaanyway, so, I read the Fox News site occasionally but according to our friend Michael, I'm the only liberal who does. I guess I should jog on over to Mother Jones instead.
SPENCER: why did Gawker "chart the political leanings of news web site readers"?
who was the genius editor that came up with THAT assignment
i need "Nielsen data" to know that conservatives read Fox News's website?
MEGAN: I guess to make sure their audience is still liberal?
SPENCER: Jesus Christ, Gawker really IS over
they should sell the site to Conde Nast or something
MEGAN: Anyway, I mostly just wanted to name check Michael because he's the reason I'm a little hungover this morning.
MEGAN: Yeah, him and my friend Nat and the drinking.
SPENCER: i would have thought if he boned you i would have gotten a celebratory txt
MEGAN: From which one of us?
SPENCER: (not that Michael Calderone OR Megan Carpentier is that tacky
hopefully both
MEGAN: Can't a girl go get a little sloppy with a nice guy that dated [a mutual friend] without boning him?
SPENCER: where did you guys go
i need new places to drink in dc
MEGAN: We didn't go anyplace new, sadly. DJ lil'e was spinning at Saint Ex and she was so awesome the last time that I dragged Michael and Nat there but the weather sucked so bad there was no one around so we all went our separate ways by midnight.
SPENCER: speaking of so-awesome
My Washington Independent colleague Holly Yeager had an amazing piece yesterday about John McCain's inability to give a halfway-compelling speech

His flat delivery often makes him seem bored with his own stories — as he did Tuesday, when he told a crowd of current students at his alma mater, "Memory often accords our high school years the distinction of being among the happiest of our lives. I remember Episcopal in that light."


i love how mccain's hypeman is joe lieberman
a jowlier, eeyorish version of Tony Yayo to McCain's 50 Cent
MEGAN: God, seriously? This country can't vote for a man who still thinks high school was the best time of his life.
SPENCER: oh cmon
MEGAN: Only, I feel like too many people feel that way so they probably will.
SPENCER: 65 percent of the country peaked in high school
you're just an effete, out of touch liberal
MEGAN: Well, that's probably true. Also, I might have been a huge nerd with a home situation weighing heavily on my mind and a hell of a lot of confusion that I finally worked through later and wouldn't want to go back and relive.
SPENCER: speaking of touching liberals
i'm having some people over tonight for the season premiere of Battlestar: Galactica
would you do me the honor of joining us?
MEGAN: Wow, so, like, Moe gets an invite to a punk show and I get one to watch a scifi show?
SPENCER: it's an AWESOME show
it's a better show than The Surge is a band
MEGAN: Actually, to your credit, you sussed out which one of us was the secret scifi nerd, though.
SPENCER: PS: All DC-area Jezebels! Come see The Surge on Tuesday, 4/8 at 7 pm at the Bobby Fisher Memorial Bldg on N. Capitol! Email the band for more info!
The band that's too REAL for Moe Tkacik!
MEGAN: You're a riot. I'll bring the popcorn tonight.
SPENCER: All right! My BA rises to .500!
Jezebeau HOFer

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