John Mayer To Jen Aniston: "By The Way, I Just _____"

Illustration for article titled John Mayer To Jen Aniston: By The Way, I Just _____

[West Hollywood, February 22. Image via Getty.]


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Erin Gloria Ryan

"... don't have any talent. I just don't have any talent, Jen. I'm a shitty songwriter. I am not funny. I'm sleazy in the worst way. And that song 'Your Body Is A Wonderland,' I just wrote that song to bang groupies after shows. Plus, what the fuck was I thinking when I wrote 'Waiting for the World To Change,' that horrid anthem to apathy? I'm a terrible waste of spotlight. There are literally thousands of people who are unknown that would enhance the world more by being famous than I do. Literally thousands. You look really high, by the way. And thank you for letting me braid your hair."