John Mayer Dumps Jessica Simpson For Same Reason He Started Dating Her

Illustration for article titled John Mayer Dumps Jessica Simpson For Same Reason He Started Dating Her
  • In the time we took to launder our whites and get over a hangover, singer John Mayer broke up with singer Jessica Simpson. Allegedly over her slutty clothes. Then John went to a party, hit on an Asian model, briefly considered doing her, thought better of it (debatable!) and went home alone. [Rush & Molloy]
  • Whenever we listen to or read about or look at pictures of British whiskey enthusiast/singer Amy Winehouse we think, damn! Now here is a girl who is really healthy and self-actualized and definitely seems ready to take that whole "lifetime commitment" step with the boyfriend who used to "sniff her out like Tanqueray." [Spin]
  • Incredibly humble fashion designer Tom Ford relates to starlets because he doesn't like wearing underwear either, but says "I am my own muse." Also: He imagines that the world must have been a whole lot more perverted before the spread of internet porn, which we totally find ourselves thinking all the time! Except, you know, the exact opposite. [New York]
  • While Paul McCartney and Heather Mills act remarkably civil towards one another in a reunion meeting, Kid Rock is a total pussy who bails as soon as his ex Pam Anderson enters a room. We'd say this highlights differences between them and us, but: Calum Best. [News of the World, Rush & Molloy]
  • Director Roman Polanski at Cannes: "It's a shame to have such poor questions, such empty questions." Wait, from the Hollywood media? Surely he jests! [Washington Post]
  • Boytoy Calum Best is too busy getting rug burns from sex with Lindsay Lohan to get her to buy him furniture. If this story gets you hot at all, you may want to kill yourself. [News of the World]
  • Prince Harry is going to Afghanistan, where we are apparently still not paying attention to a war. [News of the World]
  • Xtina joins porn-star Jenna Jameson in endorsing Hillary Clinton. [New York]
  • We'll tell you what we never ever ever really wanted: The Spice Girls to reunite! Too bad God does not love us! [News of the World]
  • Chris Rock and Courtney Love can be heard on Hollywood tough-guy Anthony Pellicano's tapes talking about their one-night stands, raving paranoias, love of Italians, etc. [New York Times]
  • We can't actually bring ourselves to read the stories about the Joey Buttafuoco-Evanka Buttafuoco-Amy Fisher triangle of love/reality-show sessions but, hey, here you go. [New York Post]


Stick It In Your Eye

re: Simpson/Mayer- He dumped her for slutty clothes? Has he looked at his mullet lately? A mullet of that caliber beats rock, paper and exposed dirty pillows.

re: Xtina, Jenna and Hillary- I'm not making my choice until I hear who Tila Tequila is voting for. The holy triumvirate shall cast my presidential vote.