DISPATCH from the UNDISCLOSED LOCATION where I've been living since dropping the TRUTH BOMB that ARIANA GRANDE IS ACTUALLY A BABY. Big Sean, the baby's BOYFRIEND, denies that she is a BABY who gets CARRIED EVERYWHERE. Once AGAIN, only WE can be TRUSTED to bring you the TRUTH.

Asked POINT BLANK if Ariana Grande is a baby who likes being CARRIED, Big Sean—another PAWN in Grande's DANGEROUS BABY GAMES—lied and said that Ariana Grande is NOT a baby who likes being CARRIED.

As UNTRUSTWORTHY source E! reports:

"That don't even sound logical," Big Sean said. "No, man, she don't get carried. I remember I was with her one time and she got carried but it was 'cause her foot was bleeding. She busted her foot, like, you know, dancing and stuff.

When asked about the rumor again, he said, "That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous."

Advertisement

NO, BIG SEAN. IT IS YOU WHO IS RIDICULOUS.

BIG SEAN, E! AND ARIANA GRANDE ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED. GRANDE'S REPS HAVE YET TO RESPOND TO JEZEBEL'S ALARMING REPORT THAT ARIANA GRANDE IS A BABY. THIS IS BECAUSE THEY ARE SCARED OF THE TRUTH AND TERRIFIED THAT WE MIGHT REVEAL OTHER SECRETS.

WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED.

P.S. HOW DO YOU TURN OF CAPS LOCK?????

Image via Getty.