Jessica Alba: Totally Knocked Up

Illustration for article titled Jessica Alba: Totally Knocked Up
  • Jessica Alba is pregnant! The father is boyfriend Cash Warren. Congrats? It's kind of worrying that they're on-again-off-again, sigh. Good luck, kids. [People]
  • Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell supposedly pointed to Victoria" Posh Spice" Beckham's tummy during a show and allegedly said, "She's pregnant." Hahahahahaha, wait, what? []
  • Madonna to New York City yoga class: "I want you all to leave." And they did! [Page Six]
  • Speaking of her Madgesty, she was seen sporting two black eyes. Surgical procedure, perhaps? [Daily Mail]
  • Custody battle news: Britney Spears will finally have her deposition taken under oath — today at 10 a.m. OMG. [TMZ]
  • A French producer wants Britney Spears to play the Virgin Mary in a new film. But it's satire, see? [Page Six]
  • Kiefer Sutherland has been getting "a ton" of fan mail while in prison, says an officer. "Easily more than 100 letters a day." Jack Bauer would have busted out by now, though. [People]
  • Howard Stern is pissed Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck moved to his block on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, since the paparazzi now hang out there. Dude, they're not interested in you, srsly. [Page Six]
  • Christina Aguilera ordered a set of photo enlargements from her Marie Claire pregnant belly photo shoot. Perfect to hang over the couch! [Page Six]
  • Did Ethan Hawke bang the nanny while he was still married to Uma Thurman? [Gatecrasher]
  • Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow may have been on the rocks over the summer but they are totes happy now, so rest easy. [Gatecrasher]
  • Blind item! "Which perfectly lovely young star has an ugly assistant who is ruining her reputation in celebrity circles with her rude behavior and love of freebies?" [Gatecrasher]
  • This extremely old quote (originally from the January issue of Elle) where Angelina Jolie calls Shiloh Jolie-Pitt a "blob" and a likely "outcast" keeps getting recycled and taken out of context, and frankly we're sick of it. [MSNBC]
  • Nicole Kidman may take a break from acting: She says, "A lot of my wish to work was about wanting to get lost, not wanting to be in the world." But now, "I have a reason to be in the world now and that reason is Keith." Aw, romantic. Now do something about his hair. [Telegraph]
  • It was announced that Lily Allen will be a judge on the panel of the Orange Broadband Prize For Fiction, the prestigious literary award for female authors (past winners include Zadie Smith and Lionel Shriver). Literary Lil, sounds good. [Independent]
  • Hulk Hogan is having a rough year: his wife Linda has filed for divorce and his son Nick is facing charges of reckless driving. "I just pray that things get better for my family," Hogan says. "I love my family and I love my wife to death and I just don't know what tomorrow's going to bring." [ABC News]
  • Some idiot tried to rip Naomi Campbell's VIP pass from her neck at the Led Zeppelin show. Dude, you're begging to get pistol-whipped by a cell phone! [Daily Mail]

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Rooo sez BISH PLZ

@SinisterRouge: Well if the kid is Michael Warren's grandchild and Jessica is ashamed of being a "brown girl", then she should worry, because the baby will be 1/4 black.

I get the feeling Cash & Jessica didn't exactly think this whole baby thing through much.