Image: Getty

Almost exactly five years ago, former Jezebel staffer Lindy West wrote our site’s very first dedicated blog post to Jason Momoa, calling the actor “Earth’s hunkiest horse-lord.” The implication of said blog post was that he was good, and he was, at the time. But it turns out that he is bad. People are either good or bad, and Jason Momoa, we have decided, is actually bad.

Last week, we learned that Jason Momoa would tear the pages out of Aquaman co-star Amber Heard’s books while filming the superhero movie so that she, a woman!!, could not finish. Today, People tells us that when he takes photos with straight married couples, he pulls the female half of said couple close to him while pushing the male half of said couple nearly out of frame. This is clearly fucked up and not part of some previously agreed upon gag that all parties involved consented to participate in at some point. Plus, he said the word “poopsie” one time. Bad.

If you are wondering who the new good person is, why, let me tell you. It is the naked mole rat queen featured in this Washington Post article from earlier today.

Screenshot: Instagram (@smithsonianzoo

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She rules over the naked mole-rat colony at the Smithsonian National Zoo’s Small Mammal House. She recently gave birth to three babies. She is wrinkly and hairless. Good.

Actually, valuing women for our demonstrated fecundity is bad. Monarchy is also bad. The naked mole rat is bad now. Do not speak to her or support her on Patreon. Unless she is queering monarchy, which would be good and would mean she is good. I think she is queering monarchy, which is a real thing you can do. We have decided mole queen is good. Mole queen is good now.