James Deen Diplomatically Explains Lindsay Lohan's Horrid Attitude: 'She Has a Unique Way of Communicating'

Porn star and baby panda James Deen has been talking a lot about his experience shooting The Canyons with Lindsay Lohan, and the more he talks, the more we realize that it was kind of a fucking nightmare, but he had fun, because he’s a good sport. And he tries, he really does, to give LL the benefit of the doubt. For instance in this interview with the Daily Beast, Deen, ever the gentleman, attempts to explain why people get so fucking frustrated with Linds:

People treat actors like these fragile, delicate creatures, and you’ve got to remember that for the past 10 years, Lindsay could not go to Starbucks. She was raised in the Hollywood system, so she’s used to a certain level of treatment. Instead of saying, “Excuse me, could you please pass me the water?” She’s used to saying, “I need water,” and then someone just giving her water. She’s been conditioned to say what she needs and then someone will bring it to her, so I can see why people would consider her to be a train wreck or a bitch or whatever, but her intentions are fine.

Say what now?

She has a unique way of communicating. She’s a child star who’s been living in this fame world being chased by paparazzi. I tried to consider that in every interaction with her, so when she speaks, what could be construed as an insult by some was not necessarily intended to be an insult. It was just her communicating her interpretation of the scene.

Um, okay. Sure. Deen also makes the nude/sex scene sound like a production of Biblical proportions:

DB: One of the big incidents in the story was when Lindsay locked herself in a closet and refused to disrobe prior to shooting the four-way sex scene.

JD: Lindsay needs to be the star. So the female was in the adult-film world, and the other male was just some model guy. I’m very comfortable naked, the other girl was very comfortable naked, and I wanted everyone to be as comfortable as possible to get the scene done correctly. The crew got comfortable, the girl did, and then the other male did, and it wasn’t a big deal. This I believe made Lindsay less comfortable, because she’s never done a sex scene, so to her, this was a big deal that she was showing her boobs and simulating sex, and seeing everyone so relaxed, she felt like she needed to throw some drama in there and bring attention back to her.

But wait! There’s more!

I can’t speak for her, but we were all hanging out, joking around, and it was the three of us naked in bed-and Lindsay was half naked-and then she all of a sudden was like, “Could you guys put your clothes back on? I’m feeling really uncomfortable.” And then we were like, “Ugh, OK.” So we put our robes back on, but she was still lying on the bed topless, and we were like, “Well, what about you?” And she was like, “No! I can be naked, but you can’t be!” We were like, “All right … Whatever you need.” She needed people to home in on the fact that this is a big deal to her-showing her boobs and doing a sex scene-and people should respect that fact. But, it was in her mind because everyone else on set was like, “We’ve seen you in Playboy, we’ve seen crotch shots all over the Internet, so this is nothing new,” but to her, it was something different. It was an escalating event where she tried to make it a big deal-no one cared-she tried to make it a bigger deal-no one cared-so then she just went around the corner of the room. She said, “When Julia Roberts does topless scenes, she makes the whole crew shoot in their boxers! I want that!” And the whole crew just rolled their eyes and was like, “We’re not doing that. We’ll do that for fuckin’ Julia Roberts, but not you. Go find another crew; we’ll just leave.”

DB: And then Schrader got naked?

Schrader looked her dead in the eyes and said, “I’m not making my fucking crew do that, but you know what?” And then he stripped off all his clothes except for his socks, strutted across the room to the monitor, stood there, and just said, “ACTION!” And the cameras immediately started rolling, Lindsay jumped in the bed, and we nailed it in one 15-minute take.

That’s right. The director had to take off his clothes to get Lindsay Lohan to do her job and film a scene for his film. Also? At one point, Schrader said to Deen:

“Here’s your motivation for the scene: after you do this, you’ll never have to work with her again.”

Can’t wait to see this super fun thing that no one would ever want to do again! Much more at the link, you guys.

Porn Star James Deen on His ‘Canyons’ Experience With Lindsay Lohan [The Daily Beast]