J-Woww's Clothing Line Looks Exactly As You Imagined It Would

When looking at Jenni “J-Woww” Farley’s clothing line, you get the sense she had a very specific customer in mind: namely herself and her friends. Let’s take a look, shall we?

The name of Farley’s line is “Filthy Couture,” so it’s not as if she’s trying to act like she’s competing with Chanel: these are party clothes, designed for clubbing and potentially eating ham in when you’re drunk and in a confessional booth on reality tv.

The line sort of embodies why everyone loves Jersey Shore, and Snooki and JWoww in particular: it is unapologetic in its tackiness and embraces the ridiculous; gold embellishments, bright colors, deep cuts—the models are even smiling and wearing bright nail polish and bright lipstick. Everyone here looks like they want to go dancing. Whether or not it’s at an establishment you’d want to hit up is really your biz.

Some of this stuff looks straight off the set of a Britney Spears video in 1999, right? Like Melissa Joan Hart should be dancing to “Crazy” in the background?

Baby-doll dresses are a key element here, I guess. As are boobs, I’m thinking, because 98% of this collection seems to be designed with J-Woww’s particular body type in mind.

This seriously looks like something Jennifer Coolidge would wear in a Christopher Guest film. “We both like soup…”

And I don’t think this would have been out of place in a Motley Crue video from 1986. But I mean, please. Let’s stop acting like bringing back shoulder pads or any other heinous style from the 80s is any better.

I think Nomi Malone would love the shit out of this, for some reason.

This looks very Snooki-esque, no?

I will say this: these are not clothes for the shy.

I am almost positive I had a Barbie with a similar dress back in the day. Anyone?

Baby Spice!

Everything just screams, “I am here, now pay attention.” Bold colors, big patterns, etc.

This is totally something Kelly or Donna would have worn on 90210.

“I’m not here for the fashion show, I’m here for Bret.”

I sort of love the expression of the woman in the background.

The heart actually reminds me of Lindsay Lohan’s collection for Ungaro.

Everything is super-short and with a plunging neckline. If nothing else, the collection is cohesive.

And here’s the designer herself, in a dress of her own creation. I’m not sure what the fashion world will say about her collection, but does it matter? She’s not trying to be Alexander Wang; she’s trying to be JWoww, and her clothes are just a reflection of who she is and what she sees as a market that needs to be catered to. I do wonder, however, if they’re machine washable. Gym, tanning, dry cleaners doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.