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It's Thursday: Why Not Make a Custom Dildo of Your Dong?

Illustration for article titled Its Thursday: Why Not Make a Custom Dildo of Your Dong?

Is your dick so glorious that you think it needs a twin-dick? Well then I have the event for you! Right now in New York City, 3Dea is happening, a popup store/printing lab that shines a light on the art of 3D printing. The gist of it: You can get pretty much anything printed in 3D, including your penis. Yay, technology! (And I really do mean that.)

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Ottimo Massimo of Fleshbot went through the process, and it is so fascinating! They use lasers to scan your penis and then print out a dildo with your exact length, girth, curve, and vein structure. And is it just me, or is "vein structure" the grossest two words in the English language when combined? It's that, or "making love". Or possibly "Carrot Top".

Massimo says the experience is far better than with the "Clone-a-Willy kits" penis plaster kits, because it takes less time and the results are more accurate/awesome. All you do is shave, get aroused (they have a very sexy room and materials to help you, get scanned in a room full of people whilst remaining hard, and then sit back and watch the magic:

After five scans from various angles, I put my clothes back on and learned about the rest of the process. The images are combined to build one solid 3D model that gets printed in polyamide by the 3D printers at i.materialize. Then girls of [dildo makers New York Toy Collective] do the rest by hand: they take that model, treat its surface, bring back any unique details lost in printing, make a mold, whip up some silicone, pour it in, and let it set. They even hand mix their own colors, and not only do they do four flesh tones (cashew, caramel, hazelnut, and chocolate) but they can also capture undertones, such as the reddish-purple luster of a swollen dong. They're true artisans.

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When they're done, you get a $250 dildo doppelganger. I actually think it's pretty rad and if I had a dick, I'd be all up on the this dildo's jock. Don't forget to make an appointment, 3Dea shuts down on Mon, Dec 10.

TL; DR: If you're in New York City, have a penis, and aren't getting it scanned and turned into a dildo, I do not want to know you.

Everything You Need To Know About 3D Printing Your Dick's Doppelganger [Fleshbot]

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DISCUSSION

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give_up_and0012

Open question, even though this isn't that thing that we do where we vent and ask questions!

My dude and I have been together for 3 years and he made it clear from the get-go that he wasn't ok with open relationships. Ok. Fine. Then....NO SEX. Like, maybe 4 sexes a year? 7 if you count him awkwardly pinching my nipples (in a way that I do not enjoy) while I try to find some solace alone. I don't even get enough time by myself to enjoy an active imaginary sex life.

He says its because he's overweight and depressed but I'm fat too (now, that's pretty much all due to this relationship) and still have a sex drive and an attraction to him. Even when we set goals and meet them he still never wants anything more than a cuddle. I am insensate and frustrated and depressed and feel awful about myself and my sexual being because of this. But. I still love him and know he doesn't want things to be this way. Promises, promises... but things never change.

Its been 3 years! 3 years of the one person I love and am actually very attracted to (and I could love someone and love him if he would let this all be open) who doesn't feel any physical attraction to me, or ANYONE. It's driving me crazy with longing and self-loathing for putting up with it. Help! Please. I don't want to break this all off but he just could care less about a physical relationship and it makes me feel emotionally dead inside. Anyone? Advice? Please???