It's a New Day In America and Ted Cruz Is Still an Irredeemable Dumbass

Illustration for article titled It's a New Day In America and Ted Cruz Is Still an Irredeemable Dumbass
Image: GRAEME JENNINGS (Getty Images)

Not long after he was sworn in as the 46th president of the United States, President Biden was busy with a slew of first-day housekeeping, which included executive orders nixing Trump’s so-called “Muslim” travel ban, instituting a deportation moratorium, and ordering federal agencies to review or reinstate over 100 environmental regulations that were weakened during the Trump years. Included in this environmental overhaul was Biden’s decision to rejoin the Paris Climate Agreement, reversing President Trump’s 2017 withdrawal.


World leaders and people who give a shit about the environment were happy about the latter decision—the U.S. is the second-largest producer of greenhouse gasses, right behind China—but Sen. Ted Cruz was not, so he hopped on Twitter to condemn Biden’s decision and showed his ass while doing it.

“By rejoining the Paris Climate Agreement, President Biden indicates he’s more interested in the views of the citizens of Paris than in the jobs of the citizens of Pittsburgh,” Cruz wrote. “This agreement will do little to affect the climate and will harm the livelihoods of Americans.”

The Paris Agreement is an international effort to mitigate greenhouse gas emissions, with a long-term goal of keeping global temperature increases below 2 degrees Celcius for the remainder of the century. The only reason Paris is in its name is due to the fact that the agreement was hammered out at the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change’s 21st Conference of Parties in December 2015, which took place in Paris. The Paris Agreement itself does specifically benefit the denizens of Paris, France, any more than people living in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The United States’ withdrawal was irresponsible at best and depraved at worst.

It’s hard to imagine Cruz truly believing that the Paris Agreement is about Parisians—he’s a Harvard-educated lawyer, after all. But his misleading rhetoric is impactful for his constituents and supporters who may not know any better, which was likely the point.

Still, regardless of his rationale, he comes off looking like a dumbass.

As New York State Senator Julia Salazar noted in a quote tweet responding to Cruz: “Imagine having a Harvard Law degree and thinking that the Paris Climate Agreement is actually about Paris.”


He’s not done humiliating himself, however. Actor Seth Rogen responded to Cruz’s tweet, writing, “Fuck off you fascist.”

Cruz replied, “Charming, civil, educated response... If you’re a rich, angry Hollywood celebrity, today’s Dems are the party for you. If you’re blue-collar, if you’re a union member, if you work in energy or manufacturing...not so much.”


Rogen reminded Cruz of his track record as a fascist Trump bootlicker in response, adding, “Also I’m in four unions.”


After his complicity in the false election fraud narrative that led to the Capitol Riot and getting dragged on Twitter by Seth Rogen, it’s probably time for Cruz to take his L’s with a morsel of humility. But that requires a level of self-awareness that Cruz has never had and will likely never acquire.

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.



Has anyone, anywhere, ever, gone on the record to say they personally like Ted Cruz as a human being?

(Also, when I originally wrote this question, I was going to have a “...besides his family...” caveat, but then I realized I’m not sure I’ve ever even seen anyone from his family say they personally like him.)