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Is Surviving A Sex Change The True Sign Of A Good Marriage? Or Just Insane?

Illustration for article titled Is Surviving A Sex Change The True Sign Of A Good Marriage? Or Just Insane?

Yesterday the New York Times ran a story about one of those married couples that stays together after the husband gets a sex change. I'm not sure how many married couples like that there are; it's one of those things that I feel like I'm hearing about all the time, but it could be the same married couple I saw on Oprah, but they're journalistically important because of of their legal implications — their rights and legal statuses differ from state to state, and there are all sorts of ways they can be discriminated against, not that most people are that concerned about transsexual same-sex married couples losing their spousal rights when they cross state lines when it's still okay for cops to shoot unarmed black men, because the real reason you want to read about these people is that they stayed together. Through a sex change. Their marriage survived. A sex change. All the same qualities that attracted them are still there, they claim. Just now they go bra-shopping together!

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And he's developed a taste for manicotti.

The transition has changed Denise in unexpected ways. "My entire sensory palate — smells, colors, foods — everything is different," she said. "There are foods I hated that I love now." (Ricotta.) "She cries more easily," Fran said. "We're always like, 'Oh, God, she's crying again.' We're always getting a tissue."

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But seriously, clearly there is a lot of love and compassion and openness and sacrifice and empathy and emotional dependence here, and clearly a marriage means something different when you're fifty and have three kids with a person than when you're in your twenties and trying to imagine having one kid with a person, but is this just kind of insane? Or is it the best thing ever?

Through Sickness, Health And Sex Change [NY Times]

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DISCUSSION

@dangerslut:

I think like I'd prefer a woman who took out the trash and killed cockroaches than a penis who didn't. And I identify as straight, though I guess maybe I should rethink that, as my priorities are more in a sharing day-to-day relationship than in a particular sex organ.

I seriously enjoy the whole "I don't have to do every single damn thing myself" part of marriage a lot. It is huge for me. It is a lot easier to do laundry for 2 than to do laundry and take out the trash, and so on.