Is Rebel Wilson 29, 35, or a 36-Year-Old Liar Named Melanie Bownds?

Depending on who you believe, the woman currently starring in Pitch Perfect 2 as Fat Amy is either a 29-year-old named Rebel Wilson, a 35-year-old named Rebel Wilson, or a 36-year-old named Melanie Bownds. The Sydney Morning Herald (whose perfect URL is smh.com.au) reports today that “Australian business records prove…the date of birth for a ‘Rebel Melanie Elizabeth Wilson’ as March 2, 1980.” Wilson (if that’s her real name) claims her birthday is February 3, 1986. But honestly, what does she know about herself?

An anonymous source told the Australian publication Woman’s Day that she went to school with the woman currently known as Rebel Wilson back when Rebel was a woman named Melanie Bownds who was born in 1979. FKA Melanie, claims the source, wasn’t even a “class clown”!

“None of us remember her being funny,” says the insider. After school, the Aussie star went to study law at university, but shortly after, she fell off the radar from her school friends.

The insider provided photo proof of Rebel’s former identity, and this plot is getting so thick that it’s practically vegemite. Wilson has even addressed the rumors on Twitter.

So what’s the truth, Rebel? Are you 29? 35? 36? 100? Is your real name Melanie or is it CC Chalice? Are you a funny comedian or an unfunny lawyer? I don’t know who to believe, and judging by her Wikipedia entry’s revisions over the past 24 hours, neither does anyone else.