Is It Possible To Consume Lindsay Lohan In Moderation?

Illustration for article titled Is It Possible To Consume Lindsay Lohan In Moderation?

annafannafofanna: here's my feeling about lindsay lohan: she's almost hit the "britney shaves her head" moment in which my discomfort with her behavior overwhelms any amount of amusement i once felt.
defnotmoe: would it be better if i admitted that when i was lindsay's age
defnotmoe: i was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning
defnotmoe: with a .35 BAL?
defnotmoe: that's what you get when you mix diurex and everclear
defnotmoe: just so you know kids!

annafannafofanna: also: WHERE IS HER MOTHER???
defnotmoe: uh, the white oprah?
annafannafofanna: is samantha ronson her mother now?
defnotmoe: i call my mom a fucking lesbian sometimes.
annafannafofanna: here's my prediction: 2 years from now, lindsay and dina will have been estranged for some time. dina will write a tell-all book cloaked as a plea for her daughter's attentions. they'll make up on a barbara walters special.
annafannafofanna: by that point, lindsay's younger sister ali will be drinking. and the whole cycle will start again.
defnotmoe: omg there's this awesome story on drudge.
defnotmoe: about a reality show on which people compete for a kidney
defnotmoe: that's my prediction for lindsay: in five or six years, on vh1 celebreality
defnotmoe: only competing for a liver!
defnotmoe: it will also totally be jason wahler's comeback
annafannafofanna: also: where's calum best?
defnotmoe: he's not strong enough to be her man.

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Hate this girl. Her career is already over (did it start?) so why are we still talking about her? Oh right...America loves a train wreck...we're all rubber neckers. But seriously...I CANNOT stand this girl...but even I am beginning to feel sorry for her. I mean...with a family (and a "mother") like access to all that money and an absolute lack of education, responsibility, and actual (not celebrity-induced) self-esteem...WHAT ELSE COULD SHE BE? not feel sorry enough to hope she fixes herself...and makes a career. I'd rather see her get well...and just go away. She's been a thorm in my gossip-side for too long, now...byebye.