According to Twitter, “crossushi,” which the Internet claims is a hybrid of croissants in sushi, is having a moment and might even be the next big thing in food crazes.

Wrong! It’s true that in December The Daily Meal, Insider, MTV, and the BBC came out with stories about how it’s a weird trend that will maybe catch on, but, I mean, look at it:

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It’s served with a side of Kikkoman’s soy sauce and, judging by social media, people don’t tend to like it. It’s reportedly sold at Mr. Holmes Bakehouse, which is located on Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Seoul. They call it a “Cali Croissant.”

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I know I risk being accused of conservative, backwards food tastes, or hampering American innovation or whatever, but you know what’s good in a croissant? Ham, preferably with cheese, or just a huge blob of melted chocolate chips. I will say it’s still not nearly as bad as “raw water,” and that’s getting written up in the New York Times!

Anyway, then, on Tuesday, Mashable reposted a video about the flaky food monster, featuring a couple eating the crossushi in bed. They do not look at each other, only at the crossushi and they do not seem the least bit happy. Perhaps the crossushi represents the wall between them and true intimacy?

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I’m sorry, I love croissants and I love sushi, but this is cat food.