Lindsay Lohan, America's favorite success story, is in trouble once again. This time because she claimed that letting "unfortunate kids" see her in a play for which she was badly reviewed was community service. But for whom was it work? Lindsay or the kids?
The judge who's been given the enviable task of going over La Lohan's hours has decided (unfairly, according to her lawyer) that half of the community service hours that Lohan put in for must be redone, categorically refusing to entertain the notion that being given free tickets to a play that the star of Herbie: Fully Loaded and the delightful Just My Luck happened to be ruining by forgetting her lines was enriching their lives in any way.
Oh Lindsay. I've been rooting for you since the start. I own Just My Luck on DVD and saw Georgia Rule (which I had no idea would be about child molestation) on opening night. I bought your album! I watched all that stuff with Oprah. But with this latest news? There's only one thing I can say. And you can actually say it better for me so:
Also: Real quick — what kind of lawyer allows their client to go out there claiming that meeting fans counts as community service? Is Lindsay being represented by Lionel Hutz? [TMZ]
Don't despair, friends! At least one former child star is doing well. People reports that Amanda Bynes (star of my dad's favorite film What a Girl Wants) is doing well and reportedly living on her own. A family source revealed that Bynes is getting along with her parents (who have conservatorship until June) and is more focused and clear-headed than ever. Keep going, Amanda! We're waiting for you to return to film and TV. [People]
Teen mom Jenelle Evans has been arrested for driving without a license. I'd explain the entire thing to you, but her friend summed it up pretty well in this tweet:
And then Evans was all "YEAH! YEAH! WHAT SHE SAID!"
So that's settled. This reminds me of one time ten years ago when my friend (and Jezebel Alumna) Laura Beck and I were driving in her car after a showing of "Broadway on Ice" and were stopped by the police and Laura had her license suspended on site for failure to pay for every kind of traffic violation known to man. We didn't have Twitter back then so I can't tell you what we would have written, but the reactions in the car were very much similar to what Evans and her friend are expressing here — mostly "OH HELL NO!" and "Laura, can I borrow money for cab fare? I don't really want to walk home." Luckily there was some kind of emergency right then, so the police had to go and forgot to arrest us and I got a ride home, which is really the most important part of that story. [Cosmo]
- Jessa Duggar has a message for sinners. [E!]
- Madonna fell, but says she's fine because her body is entirely made of mithril and adamantium. The cape that made her fall now has a twitter, as capes are wont to do. [People]
- Lauren Conrad has "dropped" a "Cinderella-inspired" "collection." You can find every stitch of the whimsical fuckery at Kohl's, which, incidentally, is also where my dad met his new girlfriend, so dress nice when you go. You never know when love will strike! [MTV]
- Remember Raise Your Voice? That was a good movie. [Youtube]
- Demi Lovato was rushed to the emergency room for a lung infection, but has emerged feeling better. [TMZ]
- Oh shit, Kate Middleton might have told the queen she's done producing heirs. [Celebrity Dirty Laundry]
- Shonda Rimes thought Idina Menzel would have done a better job than Lady Gaga at the Oscars. Shonda Rimes is also very, very wrong and I don't care who knows it. [Celebitchy]
- Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez whispered at each other after the Oscars. What were they saying? No one knows, but I'd like to imagine they were reenacting the "gobble gobble" scene from Gigli. [Dlisted]
- Transgender model Andreja Pejic walked for the first time in a women's wear collection at London Fashion Week. [Page Six]
It's Wednesday evening. What does your future hold? (Only the possum sees. Only the possum knows.)
Lead image via Getty