Sound The Alarm: "Kris (Jenner) has cut off contact with In Touch, Life & Style and all Bauer publications" in light of the recent Bruce Jenner-reimagined-as-Stephanie-Beacham-from-Dynasty cover controversy, a source informed the New York Daily News. THIS IS WAR, Kris bellowed at an unnaturally high pitch for a woman of her age, eyes dancing with fire.

"They won't get any 'real' quotes from the family, and will be banned from Kardashian-Jenner red carpets, events, premieres and fashion events," the source continued. InTouch was like, whatever, you traitorous bitch: "In Touch doesn't care if the Kardashians don't speak to them. They felt betrayed anyway, that the family used them to get famous, then dumped them."

Krisā€”this is about Kris being embarrassed, guys, not Bruce getting outed as trans on the cover of a tabloidā€”was apparently so torn up about the cover that daughter Khloe felt compelled to send her a gigantic bouquet of flowers and a note, reading: "Everything will fall into place, and until then we'll have Belvedere (vodka). I love you mom."



Please send Kris your thoughts during this difficult time.

Image via Getty