Improv comedian Dennis O'Toole has noticed a trend in people he sees as "the greatest Americans," they are all short men: Martin Luther King, Jr., Bob Dylan, Tom Cruise, and even that melting ball of dough, John McCain, all clock in around 5 feet 7 inches. O'Toole is himself a man of shorter stature and sees his lack in height as the reason for his moxie and success (some call it a Napoleon complex). The fact that other successful dudes are also around his height makes him believe that they are part of an "elite" group of Americans and also motivates him to vote for McCain, even though he disagrees with all of his policies. Okay, dude, we get it: being short is some sort of issue for you, but any man voting for McCain solely based on height deserves to have his voting booth step-stool revoked on Election Day. [NPR]

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