You know how sometimes, you'll meet up with a guy you've had sex with once or twice in the past, and then it stops, but you continue talking, and then you meet up with him again for drinks at your neighborhood bar, and by then you have a boyfriend whom you mention a few times in the conversation, but somehow the data just doesn't make it through the membrane, and he tries to go home with you anyway? At which point you refuse, and he shrinks away with a sour expression on his face, and you're fairly irritated but whatever, until the next morning you wake up to your inbox and he's made it all better by sending you such comedic gold as THIS? Yeah, another from the OkCupid annals. Also from the "entitlement issues" annals, but like, duh.

Laura:

I'm not pissed that you found someone you're willing to invest in.

I'm not pissed that you left me hangin' tonight.

I am pissed that you didn't just tell me the truth from the get go. You're a smart girl and you can't say you're not, so you knew what preconceived notions were going into tonight.

I'm a big boy. I know how to handle myself. Had you said you were seeing someone you really liked; had you been happy and joyful and excited about it; had you just told me you were seeing someone you weren't willing to fuck with...

I'd have been happy for you, genuinely happy. I'd have asked you questions about him. I'd have shown you how excited for you I truly am.

I'd have told you all about the amazing girl I'm seeing; someone that fits me so well it's actually a little frightening.

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Instead I felt led on. I *hate* that. I hate feeling like someone was protecting me from reality. It makes me feel like you think less of me than what I am.

Right now you probably do. If only because you haven't had the proper explanation of my actions yet.

We can be friends. You're wonderful. You really are. I don't like being led on though. I don't like being protected. I don't like feeling like my friends think that I'm less than I am.

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I'm not some piss-ant frat boy. My age betrays my emotional maturity. I can handle the reality of everyday life.

Don't ever lead me on. Don't ever lie to me. Don't ever "protect" me from something and we can be friends.

I'm done with the bullshit in my life. I'm only willing to invest in people that will be honest with me. That will tell me the truth no matter how difficult it may seem.

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Please don't tell me that you didn't think you were leading me on tonight. That only diminishes your intelligence and I know how smart you are.

Can you be real? Can you never dick me around? Can you never "protect" me from the things that may hurt me?

If you can answer "yes" to all of those questions I'm more than willing to be your friend Laura. I honestly like you. I enjoy talking with you. I enjoy hangin' out with you. Hell if that weren't true I'd have either tried to get you home sooner or just left earlier tonight. I like you. At least I really want to like you.

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If this all sounds juvenile it's only cause I'm drunk and angry at 2:40 in the morning.

I can be you friend if you can promise me you'll never dick me around. Is that fair? I think it is.
-Jeff