On Sunday afternoon, Iggy Azalea was outraged to find that an employee of Papa Johns, her favorite pizza company, had given out her phone number:
#DamnShame indeed. Today is a new day, though, and Iggy would like to make it clear that this is no "war." This is just a girl named Iggy and a boy named John, working some shit out on a public forum.
And then, very suddenly, a forgotten bobby pin from her elaborate Grammys milkmaid crown became lodged inside her skull, managing to poke that little-known section of the brain known loosely in the medical community as the TWEET FOREVER, YAS, THAT'S GOOD, KEEP GOING -ygdala. This has happened to her before.
A red light glowed from her left eye, and Iggy grabbed her phone.
Doctors are unsure how long this condition will last, but they can agree on one thing: the patient will probably not DM Papa John's.
Image via Getty