"If You Have An Erection And Have To Pee..."

Illustration for article titled If You Have An Erection And Have To Pee...

Here, a handy compendium of bathroom etiquette for the gentleman in your life. Now we just need one for the office ladies' room...[BuzzFeed]

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naomireindeer-old
NaomiReindeer

Living with a male for the first time (albeit, the construction-working-eating-"hoagies"-watches-UFC male), this has been a hard transition.

I've grown up in a house of 3 women vs. 1 man (4 if you include the dog) and his 1 woman vs. 4 men upbringing, we were from entirely different worlds.

He tried, he truly did, but 22 years of leaving the seat up had left their impact, and me carrying the rage of a thousand suns.

I realized we could allow this to be the detriment of an otherwise functional and great relationship...or I could take action.

Then came the toilet seat "device".

I began to assemble household tools together in my head, which would hold the seat from the lid enough to allow access for my ~beloved~'s needs, but force him to close by force of this invention. After careful consideration (I'm quite embarrassed to admit how much thought and "test runs" this took), the final result....

Duct tape, and a small rag, fastened to the center "hinges" of the seat and toilet.

He despises it, but I've assured him the training wheels come off on his sixth birthday of bathroom ettiquette.