Last night, celebs and CNN honored "everyday people who are changing the world" with a "CNN Heroes" tribute. Celebrities honoring everyday people? Unheard of! I thought it was the other way around? If you want to see celebrities distinguishing themselves from "everyday people" by looking refined and elegant on the red carpet, then this is not the slideshow for you. However if you want to see a veritable cornucopia of tacky clothing, as worn by celebrities, then read on!
Let's start with the good. Emma Roberts rarely makes a misstep, and last night was no exception. The sheer black overlay gives an otherwise simple dress a little edge. Christy Turlington looks so poised and graceful in her peach dress. The beauty of her outfit lies with the details—the sheer squiggle panel by her shoulder blades, the unusual seaming, and the chic little box clutch.
I'll admit I'm a sucker for dresses that reference Art Deco. While Brooklyn Decker's dress isn't perfect—it would look a lot cleaner without the ruffled hem and ruffled sleeves—it was certainly one of the snazziest and most eye-catching looks on the red carpet last night. Laura Dern is one classy lady in her all-black pantsuit. I like a good pair of wide-leg pants, but if there's room for another full leg in each pant leg, then your pants are too wide, girl. Sprague Grayden did the rare thing of wearing separates to a red carpet event! She looks comfortable and stylish in a boxy leather top and slim black pants.
I'm not a fan of dresses that give you a kangeroo pouch in the front, but Shay Mitchell looks so kicky and sassy in her bright pink shift that I will give it a pass. The problem with strapless dresses is that they always look like they need to be yanked up a few inches in photos. Deborah Ann Woll's dress definitely brings the yanking instinct out of me, but other than that, she looks very pretty in plum. Terri Seymour took a page from the Victoria Beckham school of fashion and showed up with perfect hair and a body-hugging, knee-length dress. Sara Ramirez wore a dress you can find any mall across America.
I guess we're barreling full-speed ahead, straight into the "ugly" portion of today's slideshow. Miley Cyrus and her man-toy, Liam Hemsworth, both have a whiff of sleazy following them around in these photos. He looks like he needs to starch his shirt and put a little bit more effort into getting dressed. She's wearing one of those nylon nightgowns from the 70's. Sofia Vergara is wearing your standard-issue black lace bodycon dress. Next.
Ahh, another retro nylon negligee to an event honoring "everyday people?" At least Anna Trebunskay's hair is fabulous. Tabatha Coffey wants you to know she's not an everyday person. The dress on its own looks too bare, but the fur jacket swallows her tiny shoulders and dwarfs her head. There's just no winning, is there?
Sorry Eliza Dushku, but I don't think the day will ever come when tie-dye becomes an acceptable print for a red carpet gown. Chaka Khan is in a league of her own, so if Chaka wants to wear a drum major's jacket, so be it. AnnaLynne McCord and Josie Loren wore the same unappealing, boring dress. The bodice of AnnaLynne's dress is a little shinier, and the skirt on Josie's is a little pouffier, but honestly, these details make very little difference—let's just call a turd a turd.
Kate Flannery's hot pink tights detract from the elegance of her dress. The neckline on Soleil Moon Frye's dress is as puzzling as the wrinkles on it are ugly. There was a good 1% of 80's fashion that was not tacky, but Mary-Louise Parker's dress is totally the 99%. Eva La Rue's dress is basically a dress that demonstrates why you don't drape and ruche fabric for the hell of it.
Oh god, this is so bad — but at least we're at the end. Charlotte Ross is too shiny; Rachel Crow is super cute and could be in an ad for Hot Topic stores; the print on Holly Robinson Peete's dress might very well be flowers suffering from electrocution; and Hannah Simone's sad sack dress has no redeeming style whatsoever.