If You Build It You Will Cum: Bang This Homemade Ass

Looking for a Wednesday craft to fill your time? Well, if the hump day blues have got you down, you can screw them away with this homemade ass/vag combo that is sure to please the handyperson in all of us. Remember, it's always better if you make it at home. The secret ingredient is love. (And lube.) (Lots and lots of lube.)

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David Covucci over at BroBible has uncovered a national treasure: A silent and explicit how-to on how to create and fuck a soft opening made of blankets of your very own. And if the video goes a little too fast for you, Big D (that's what Erin calls him around the office) has got some pictures that will help make the crafting experience slow and intimate. Or hard and fast. I don't know your speed/I am open to all speeds.

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David says that if he ever made this he'd fuck it at least once. Thank you for taking one for the team, David. If I made this I would not fuck it, so you may have my turn. (As long as I can record it and sell it on the internet for a reasonable $19.95+S/H.)

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Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark

Wait, I thought Gawker sold Fleshbot?

IS THIS REAL LIFE?!