If We're All Going to Die Anyway...

  • So, hooray, Ted Kennedy is out of the hospital. [NY Times]
  • But, tomatoes might kill all of us, and I ain't even talking about the mutant kind. [Washington Post, Killer Tomatoes, with full info from the FDA]
  • But daily sex with your partner definitely won't, though it will propel you to the top of the NY Times most emailed list and, actually, that might be more depressing than killer tomatoes. [NY Times]
  • But it's okay because the Democrats "stunning" refusal to grant telephone companies legal immunity for doing potentially illegal things means the terrorists are all winning so we'll all be dead soon, so you might as well eat some damn tomatoes and try fucking tonight. [NY Times]
  • It doesn't help any that Michelle and Barack Obama are sending super-secret signals to al Qaeda through their open use of the fist pound. No, for real, someone said that. I wish I was kidding. [Politico]
  • I will continue to play Cassandra and point out that 17% of Clinton supporters currently plan to vote for McCain in November and another 22% plan to stay home, and that doesn't even count all the people I know that keep telling me they're going to make her a write-in candidate. Oh, and she's totes McCain's new BFF, what with her "centrist foreign policy views," as McCain aide and former National Review writer Michael Goldfarb says. [CNN]
  • But, I can always get cheered up by talking trash about Cheney. [LA Times]
  • But there's always something to bring me down, like about how you can actually catch a dude giving you a roofie and call the cops and go to the hospital and be able to prove it but the prosecutors can claim there's not enough evidence. Paging BAngieB. [LA Times]
  • Oh, and, naturally, we've diverted all this humanitarian aid money that used to go to doing humanitarian stuff in Pakistan to helping them help us fight the War on Terror, you know, like finding Osama and shit, which means that lots of good humanitarian projects, like helping women fight and recover from abusive relationships, are severely underfunded. [Washington Times]
  • But, hey, Scott McClellan is going to testify under oath about what little he knows about the nefarious doings in the Bush Administration. That should accomplish exactly nothing [HuffPo]
  • I think I'll stick with let's get drunk (on Bloody Marys, natch, since vodka kills germs) and screw.

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