If This Airplane Wedding Is an Ad, Southwest Sucks at Ads

Congratulations to this young couple making their love government official on a Southwest flight from Batlimore to Las Vegas—and my deepest apologies to the people on this flight who were forced to bear witness to what I can only assume was an ad for… love?

Michael and Renee (last names unknown), met on Match.com four years ago, reports People. They decided to get married on an airplane headed out of Baltimore because that’s the city where they met. (So why not get married there???) Clearly, the pilot and the flight staff are in on the joke: a flight attendant escorts Renee down the aisle to her groom, who silently mouths the lyrics to Ed Sheeran’s “Perfect.” Beautiful. Let’s watch this footage, recorded by a woman named Skylee Brown, who uploaded it to Facebook.

Up until this point, I believed that this was truly the work of two people who may or may not have boarded a plane in a tux and a wedding dress with the express purpose of getting married. Then I read what the pilot said when he married these two lovebirds.

“They met each other four years ago and this weekend decided to make it at least another four years,” the pilot joked, causing laughter among the surprised audience. “They met on a Match.com date — and yes, ladies and gentleman, it really does work.”

“They were in beautiful Baltimore when they met and it’s happily ever after from there,” he continued.

In Campbell’s video, the pilot asked Michael to repeat the vows: “I, Michael, take you, Renee, to be my wife, my partner in life, and my travel companion when I become a Rapid Reward Member today, tomorrow and forever,” which referenced the airlines rewards program.

Up until this point, I believed that this was truly the work of two people who may or may not have boarded a plane in a tux and a wedding dress with the express purpose of getting married because that’s just the kind of wacky kids they are. Now I suspect with most of my heart and all of my blackened soul that this is a sinister attempt at advertising for either Southwest Airlines or love. And frankly, my friends, I reject this!

There is nothing I would want less than to be forced to witness romance and the blush of first love 30,000 feet above the earth when all I’m trying to do is watch HGTV and cry into a pineapple juice and seltzer water. Therefore I am grateful that I was not on the plane, though I wish Michael and Renee a world of happiness. Any marriage that starts with Ed Sheeran and ends, as this did, with Chris Brown, is bound to last forever.