Unwrap me like one of your starlets.
Image: Getty

Listen, I know that Bradley Cooper is with Irina Shayk, a very tall and beautiful Russian model, but I want to believe that in an alternate universe, he and Lady Gaga spend their afternoons nurturing a deep connection that is strengthened only by their love for the dramatic.

Here’s Lady Gaga in Armani Privé, making her debut on the red carpet at Toronto International Film Festival. Here’s Bradley Cooper, indulging Stefani Germanotta’s theatre kid. “Lift my veil, Brad,” she purred in the car on the way over. “Do it slowly. Make it count.”

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Perhaps we at Jezebel have been blowing too much smoke up this film’s ass, but Bradley Cooper is hot and Lady Gaga is a reliably entertaining presence whose aforementioned flair for the dramatic somehow makes me feel right at home.

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This teensy hat. The veil. The earring. That sharp blue cat eye. Lady Gaga poses for photographs with the confidence of someone who knows her angles and has been practicing said angles in any reflective surface available since 2001—but it lacks the artifice and the try-hard smarm of a friend of a friend you somehow follow on Instagram who is now trying to rebrand as a lifestyle influencer.

Image: Getty

Again— I know that Bradley Cooper is with Irina Shayk and that Lady Gaga is with Christian Carino, a man that is NOT Bradley Cooper, but please let me cling to this fantasy.

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Image: Getty