If Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis Split We Quit Life

Illustration for article titled If Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis Split We Quit Life

Mark it in your calendars: today's the day that love officially died. They've been together for almost 14 years, raised two children together and have never seemed anything but super happy together, so you'll excuse us if we gently collapse after hearing Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis are on the verge of a split. Word on the street is that Johnny is "quietly" consulting lawyers amid talk he was caught flirting with other women recently. "People around him are worried about how Johnny is doing because he and Vanessa seem so fractured right now. Their relationship is heading toward the end," said some absolute bummer. "Johnny has started reaching out to lawyers, probably to quietly discuss how to get out of the relationship. They're not married but they've been together for years and have kids together so it isn't as easy as just breaking up." If this is true then we should all break up with our significant others now – if they can't make it no one can. [Radar]


Illustration for article titled If Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis Split We Quit Life

Model fanatic Leonardo DiCaprio has been given the go-ahead to get serious with Victoria's Secret girlfriend Erin Heatherton after a New Year's Day brunch with his mom Irmelin went swimmingly. As we know, the matriarch's approval means everything to the momma's boy and his relationship with Blake Lively was snuffed out because Irmelin said she was a low-rent tramp (I might be paraphrasing). "The meeting went well, and Mom and Erin were seen laughing," said someone. [Page Six]

Illustration for article titled If Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis Split We Quit Life

The Fighter director David O. Russell has gained lifelong membership to the slimeball club – and possibly the sex-offender registry – for coming onto his transgender niece. Working out in the gym together, the 59-year-old asked his sister's kid Nicholas Peloquin, 19, about her physical transformation and put his hands under her top and "felt both breasts" when she replied that the hormones were making them grow. Russell has since told police that it was "consensual" – his niece confirming she didn't ask him to stop – and Nicholas is "always causing drama since the transgender transformation and has become very provocative and seductive." [The Smoking Gun]

Illustration for article titled If Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis Split We Quit Life

Twihards might want to skip to the next item, because Uma Thurman has set out to dismantle everything you've ever held true and dear when it comes to her Bel Ami co-star, Robert Pattinson. "To answer the ubiquitous question about this movie, yes, Robert is good-looking in person, but he doesn't have that diamond-sparkle skin like in those Dracula movies," she said. [NYDN]

Illustration for article titled If Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis Split We Quit Life

He's makes his money from the exploitation of women, so it should come as no surprise that King of Scmucks Joe Francis was handcuffed by cops after getting into a physical fight with a female motorist. Apparently, he opened his the door of his Bentley into traffic, she crashed into it and things turned violent when they began to argue about who was at fault. The woman grabbed his cell phone as he tried to take pictures and that's when the scuffle broke out; both parties emerging with minor injuries. Though no arrests were made, it's just one more strike to add to the many thousand douchey ones already against him. [TMZ]

  • Ryan Phillippe's girlfriend is not yet old enough to drink. Discuss! [Celebslam]
  • If you're looking for something to get you through this long morning before the weekend, then repeated viewings of Tina Fey's assorted Liz Lemon flashbacks might be just the ticket. [NBC]
  • Tina also fesses that it's her fault Alec Baldwin got kicked off the plane for playing Words With Friends. She told him about the game but thought he'd never downloaded it because he never invited her to play. [Vulture]
  • Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen tell you when not to put a bird on it. [Vulture]
  • News just in: Olivia Wilde cut off her tresses. [Huff Po]
  • Company reps deny it, but two passengers swear they were kicked off a United Airlines flight from St. Maarten to make way for "political celebrity" Wyclef Jean and his crew. [Page Six]
  • Chelsea Clinton's career as a journalist might be up now it's been revealed her NBC contract was only for 90 days and there's no word on a resign. [Page Six]
  • Foul-mouthed hero Lisa Lampanelli is mighty pissed at NBC after her Celebrity Apprentice employer gave her fellow contestants front-row seats to the Knicks and stuck her up the back. [NYDN]
  • Justin Bieber continues his hard-assening, showing off a new tattoo of Jesus. [NYDN]
  • Make sure you swallow your breakfast before you read this, lest you choke: Brandon Davis is a total piece of shit who made gross comments to a girl who was being nothing but nice to him. [NYDN]
  • It's shaping up to be a very happy 2012, indeed, with Etta James now out of hospital and on the up and up. [E!]
  • Taye Diggs was born with two extra fingers. Plus, five other celebrities who could have been superheros. [E!]
  • Casting for the Sex And The City prequel, The Carrie Diaries, is well underway. I agree with this article that suggests Elizabeth Olsen should get a perm and play the part. [E!]
  • Kirstie Alley gets a tattoo for her 61st and says she wants to date some "butt ugly" men. [US]
  • Kristen Bell is fast becoming one of our favorite people. Yesterday we heard that she doesn't really give a shit about her wedding plans and now she says any babies she has with husband-to-be Dax Shephard will be their "gift to America". Gold. [US]
  • Not quite sure which Downton Abbey character you are? Well, you can relax because now there's a scientific quiz for you to find out the truth! [OMG]
  • Gwyneth Paltrow shows you how to best borderline starve cleanse yourself for the low, low price of $425. Now with free shipping! [Dlisted]
  • If you're heading out to see The Devil Inside this weekend, you might want to pack a nappy because apparently there's a good chance you'll be soiling yourself. [Radar]
  • Drew Barrymore shows off the ring after yesterday's engagement announcement. [The Sun]
  • Katy Perry's mom says her daughter's divorce will help fill churches. Why not? [The Sun]
  • Russell Brand has been uninvited from the People's Choice Awards because Katy is getting an award. Cold. [Daily Mail]

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Am I the only one that thinks once kids come into the picture, you really have a responsibility as parents to stick together until they're raised? Unless you're in an abusive or extremely volatile relationship, I really don't think there is any excuse to call it quits. I am thankful I had parents who were willing to work through many issues to stay together for my sister and I. And they're still together now that we are adults and out of the house because sticking it out despite problems strengthened their relationship.

The ease with which people can build families and then split them up is really disturbing to me.