If Anyone Deserves Gonorrhea in His Eyeball, It's War Machine

Illustration for article titled If Anyone Deserves Gonorrhea in His Eyeball, It's War Machine

MMA fighter and alleged domestic abuser War Machine is awaiting trial on charges that he beat ex-girlfriend Christy Mack nearly to death. War Machine's brother Michael has been issuing jailhouse letters from War Machine on the fighter's Twitter page: in the latest ones, he claims to have found Jesus, and reminisces about getting gonorrhea in his eyeball doing porn.


War Machine—which, yes, once again, is his legal name—has pleaded not guilty on a flotilla of charges related to his alleged beating of Mack and her friend Corey Thomas. He's set for trial February 17. In the meantime, he said in a note about a month ago, he's decided to start "living for Jesus." His notes since then—typically one or two a week—have been laced with Bible quotes and heavy-handed references to his new best friend J.C. He still doesn't exactly admit to having beaten Mack, but he does say the "horrible situation" he's in is God's plan to make him change his ways. From a note published February 2:

Just so you all know I have been to jail two other times, for one year each time, so it isn't "jail" that made me find Jesus, otherwise I'd have found him before, and this trouble that I am now in would have never happened. In fact it was the time that I spent in jail, and the books that I read, that caused me to reject Jesus so vehemently. I have found him because: I finally woke up! Period. Yeah, it took a horrible situation to wake me up, but I was deaf and blind to the truth, so He did what needed to be done, and I'm happy for that. Had I not woken up, I'd be sitting in here brooding, hating, and plotting "revenge". And what would that do for anyone?

The time comes when you have to realize that a life of sin will continue to lead you to pitfalls, and you must change. I have tried "changing", tried being "good" in my eyes – of course it failed – good can only be measured in God's eyes.

When I get out things will be so different for me. Before I lived for sex. Hundreds and hundreds of women, it was never enough. When I saw Christy I thought, "maybe if I had her, then I'd be content" – I was wrong. I scoured Instagram and Twitter for hot chicks, watched porn – I wanted to sleep with every hot chick I saw – and to what end? There's no magic number, or magic woman – as long as you allow your imagination to wander, you will become unhappy with what you have and will be led astray.

War Machine is spending a lot of time thinking about lust, it seems. He followed that note up with one on Friday that reminisced about his entry into porn, which came with a side of VD to the eye:

I remember when I first got into porno, I got gonorrhea in my eyeball on my second scene; I only made 18 films but I got gonorrhea twice and chlamydia three times… Apparently I had "bad luck" because it seems that every industry girl I spoke to had never gotten anything, not once. There's some weird denial amongst porn stars, nobody wants to admit the obvious perils that the profession brings.

The note is prefaced with a line from Ecclesiastes and written in the same "repentant" style as the previous ones, but the real intent is clearly to smear Mack by implying that she was dirty and disease-ridden; he accuses her of "bringing home" sexually transmitted infections. He closes with an exhortation to stay away from things that will make you "lustful," like the porn industry and Instagram:

The way of evil is not the business; I screwed hundreds of hot chicks, I was popular, people wanted my picture… And what? It never really made me happy inside. If you can find a girl to love, hold onto her and treat her right. Don't even mess with that Instagram crap, don't even watch porn, all that stuff just makes you lustful and causes you to forsake what you already have. I ruined both my marriage and my relationship with Christy because of lust. The grass ain't always greener, in fact it never is – water what you have.


Yes. That's why you're in jail. That Instagram crap.

Image via AP



Omar Bradley Little

He does Alpha shit, like catch STDs in the fucking eye (how in the fuck does that happen?) and go to prison for beating up a woman. I bet he talks about his "personal relationship with Jesus" a lot too. His spirit is swole too, now, bro.