I Will Die Alone Before Ever Opening This Anti-‘Woke’ Dating App

Just when you thought we had enough conservative blondes to spread the gospel of conspiracy theorists, Kayleigh McEnany-lite enters from stage right. Ryann McEnany, the sister of Donald Trump’s former White House press secretary, has emerged from Republicans’ factory for up-and-coming Fox News anchors to convince her peers to download a new, conservative-only dating app called The Right Stuff. And who better to persuade Republican men to whip out their wallets, dicks, and ballots than a conventionally attractive white woman who tweets anti-trans dog whistles in her spare time?

The anti-“woke” dating app on Wednesday shared its first promo video featuring McEnany, who announced that the app would go live in September. Not only is it invite-only (Raya for Right-wingers), but it’s currently only for straight people, the only gender options are “lady” and “gentleman,” and only male users have to pay for premium subscriptions. Obviously, McEnany adds, there are “no pronouns necessary” on The Right Stuff (so you should all, apparently, use first names only at all times).

“For my ladies, you’ll never have to pay because we all get premium subscriptions for simply inviting a couple friends,” Ryann says. “Gentlemen, if you want access to premium, that’s on you.”

In the remainder of the video, McEnany lists the different conversation prompts users will have access to, which include: “My favorite liberal lie is…,” “A random fact I love about America is…,” and “Alexa: Change the…” (“president!” McEnany types in the video).

She then apologizes to all those who’ve had to “endure years of bad dates and wasted time with people that don’t see the world our way—the right way.” On this app, she boasts, you can do what you can do on any other dating app: post your favorite photos of yourself doing what you love (which, for her, is eating chicken wings and hanging out with Trump) or being with the people you love (also Trump; I think she is in love with Trump).

The app is the brainchild of Daniel Huff, a Trump appointee in the Department of Housing and Urban Development, and Jon McEntee, a former Trump aide. According to Axios, Peter Thiel, the notorious Silicon Valley investor turned Republican mega-donor, contributed $1.5 million to the app in a seed round. (A telling Thiel detail is that he once said incidents of rape are sometimes “seductions that are later regretted” in a 1995 book. He has since apologized for those comments.)

But The Right Stuff isn’t just a dating site: It’s part of conservatives’ alternate internet ecosystem, where apps like Rumble, a conservative YouTube, feature pro-Trump celebrities; social media platforms like Truth Social or Parler exist for those who find Twitter’s code of conduct too onerous; and crypto options (like the Lets Go Brandon coin) work in tandem to erode society’s few remaining democratic values.

While there are a number of “failed or now-defunct” dating apps for conservatives—Righter, Donald Dater, TrumpSingles, Patrio, and Conservatives Only, the bumbling minds behind this app say The Right Stuff is different because they have that good-good: that Thiel money, which has allowed them to build a “high quality” app. If that’s the case, I’d like to know why its long-awaited rollout—the dating service was first announced in February—kicked off with a video soundtracked by stock music featuring a knockoff GOP Barbie. I just don’t buy that they couldn’t shell out for Kimberly Guilfoyle or Tomi Lahren. Other than working as a social media strategist for Trump’s 2020 presidential campaign and her clear lust for Trump, Ryann McEnany is pretty unremarkable.

When asked for comment by Axios earlier this year, McEntee said he was excited to finally launch the app because “conservatives deserve an easy way to connect.” Actually, what conservatives deserve is a knee to the balls for trying to take away rights from anyone remotely challenges their worldview. But sure, y’all, have fun swiping.