Sunday night was the Teen Choice Awards, the annual celebration where ad executives get kids to scream their prepubescent throats raw while you, a grown adult, ask yourself questions like “Who’s that?,” “Wait, Austin Mahone and Cody Simpson are two separate people?,” and “No, but SERIOUSLY, who IS that?”
While—overall—the awards ceremony feels like one expensive and boring prank that’s all set up to make you feel old (because it is an expensive and boring prank that’s all set up to make you feel old), the Teens will occasionally make a Choice that’s so surprising that you can’t help but take notice and realize that the children really are our future. Such a choice happened last night when the youths chose Chloe Lukasiak, formerly of Dance Moms, over Dance Moms prodigy Maddie Ziegler for “Choice Dancer.”
Chloe, who (as Dance Moms fans already know) is never anything but a gracious sweetheart, thanked all of her former dance teachers, a category that happens to include Abby Lee Miller, the teacher who constantly pitted Maddie and Chloe against each other, verbally attacked Chloe when she was a child, and allegedly made cracks about Chloe’s “lazy eye.”
“Thank you to all of my fans. I wouldn’t be where I am without you. You mean the world to me” Chloe continued. “And I also want to say one more thing. To anyone who’s ever been told out there that they can’t do it, they shouldn’t do it, or they aren’t good enough: Ignore it, do it anyway, and prove them wrong.”
OH, SHIT, ABBY. SHE’S TALKING TO YOU.
Abby hath no fury like a tween fandom scorned and told to vote for an award show that gives out novelty surfboards instead of statuettes.
(BTW, Chloe also beat tWitch from So You Think You Can Dance and Magic Mike XXL, so this whole thing is actually stupid and arbitrary.)
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