Sad news, folks. Yesterday afternoon โ€” after many years of loyalty, hundreds of hours of my attentions, passion, support, and love, and thousands of dollars spent helping him live comfortably โ€” I broke up with my main man Willie. His crime? He just didn't fucking try hard enough. Some of you will take issue with my even posting his letter (which, by the way, he didn't even have the balls to sign his name to). That's fine. But I'm fucking devastated, and his missive is all the more amazin' โ€” to me at least โ€” for its brevity, apparent lack of sincerity, and absence of passion. After the jump, the email.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Dear Mets Fan:

All of us at the Mets are bitterly disappointed in failing to
achieve our collective goal of building upon last year's success.
We did not meet our organization's expectations โ€” or yours.
Everyone at Shea feels the same range of emotions as you โ€” our
loyal fans โ€” and we know we have let you down. We wanted to
thank you for your record-breaking support of our team this year.

Equally important, Ownership will continue its commitment in
providing the resources necessary to field a championship team.
Omar will be meeting with Ownership shortly to present his plan
on addressing our shortcomings so that we can achieve our goal
of winning championships in 2008 and beyond.

You deserve better results.

Many thanks again for your record-breaking support.

The New York Mets

Mets Complete Stunning Collapse [NYTimes]